Sunken Meadow Pavilion Wedding Photos
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Caity + Mike
Every time I go to Sunken Meadow Beach—a New York State Park just 15 minutes from our house—I wonder why I don’t go there more often. It’s a beach on the north shore of Long Island, which means it has more shells, rocks, and pebbles, than its south shore counterparts, but it also has a nice wooden boardwalk, clean sand, and a gorgeous view of the Long Island Sound. Caity and Mike’s wedding at the Pavilion was the first time I photographed a wedding at Sunken Meadow State Park and it won’t be the last.
Golden Hour Sunset Pictures
It’s funny how good (and bad) wedding weather tends to come in bunches. For the beginning of the season I remember a stretch of rainy, cold, cloudy days. Then came the unbearable heat wave that lasted pretty much all summer. Finally, the last few weeks gave way to slightly cooler temperatures with impressionist-esque cloud formations. The fluffy skies created some absolutely surreal, dreamy golden hours like the one Mike and Caity got. Those moments are some of my favorite to share with our couples; where we all get to step back from the party for a moment and revel at the beauty of the day and our lives. Gratitude always feels good.
Downtown Northport Wedding Photos
Yet another first for me was photographing a wedding and family formals in my hometown of Northport, NY. Northport is a cute harbor town that has old trolley lines down the center of Main street, where restaurants, retail and ice cream shops, and delis line the sidewalk. At the base of the hill is a parkside marina with a dock, playground, pavilion, and lots of green grass for picnics and pups to play. I had my pre-prom photos down in this area and I couldn’t help but be transported back in time when we were photographing Mike and Caity. Fun fact is that Caity and I went to the same high school and it rained on her prom day so she has always wanted to do photos downtown Northport–her wedding at St. Phillip Neri was the perfect opportunity!
From Photographers to Friends
Probably the most underrated part of our job as wedding photographers is getting to know our couples and their families. We are constantly welcomed into tight knit circles and given the license to document relationships as they evolve in real time. Mike is actually the brother of one of our previous brides, Kristen, and seeing her and her partner (also Mike) at the wedding was such a fun shared experience. The way I see it, most people in 9-5 jobs don’t get to constantly meet new people at work, let alone make lasting relationships. Photographing weddings as an extrovert is a cheat code to ignite creativity, connection, and appreciation for both the finer and simpler things in life.
vendors
Photography | Apollo Fields
Venue | Sunken Meadow Pavilion | Kings Park, NY
Dress | All Who Wander | Arlo
Boots | North Fork Bridal Shoppe | Miranda Lambert Idyllwind
Florist | Black Dahlia
DJ | Absolute Entertainment
Suit | Black Tux
Rings | Squires Jewelers
Hair | Ink & Ivy | Nikki Lee
Makeup | Laura Brooke
Cake | Dortoni
Wrapping up the night
With Caity and Mike! We had a great time with these guys!! Reach out for your own wedding photography below:
74 Wythe NYC Rooftop Wedding in Brooklyn
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Hiro + Janel
The wedding season winding down feels like those last couple hours of an amazing dinner party: you’ve got a good buzz going and you’re looking around as the crowd starts to wane--but you’re not quite done yet. You start striking up conversations with people you’ve never met and you open one of the leftover bottles of wine. As guests continue to file out you find yourself finishing your last few sips and you begin to admit that the night is coming to a close. It’s bittersweet--but you know that rest is important and you say good night to the hosts for an amazing evening. 2021 was (and is) Heather and I’s best year of our lives, both professionally and personally, so it’s only fitting that Hiro and Janel are one of the last few incredible hosts to bring our year to a close.
The week leading up to a wedding Heather and I are always keeping an eye on the weather report. Even if the forecast says rain we typically carry a bit of optimism because you never really know. Contingency plans are important, of course, but maintaining a positive attitude is even more critical. I’ve learned to watch how a couple manages their emotions during their wedding day--it often tells you most of what you need to know about how they handle difficulties in their relationship. Well despite hail, sideways wind, and an immense wall of fog sweeping through Manhattan like an early morning in San Francisco, Hiro and Janel were class and charm all the way through.
When Heather and I started snapping Hiro and Janel’s getting ready photos at The William Vale in Williasmburg, Brooklyn, the sky was tame and the atmosphere clear. I took Hiro and his family members and groomsmen out onto the gorgeous balcony overlooking the east river and took advantage of the beautiful, diffracted light. Within minutes the sky went black and little white pebbles began to fall from the sky. I could no longer see a single building in Manhattan. Hiro and Janel’s wedding venue, 74Wythe, was just across the street but the hail gave way to a downpour of rain. Crossing that block would feel like an avenue in the city. Heather and I told Hiro and Janel that we’d go scout the venue and come back with a contingency plan.
We all decided to do Hiro and Janel’s first look in the rooftop greenhouse where they would later hold their ceremony and reception. After they climbed the stairs and turned to look at each other their gazes still carried such a depth of appreciation: of each other, the day, and the moment. It definitely wasn’t easy for them to look past the things they couldn’t control but watching the way they looked at each other I saw how strong they were together--not to mention that they looked absolutely stunning.
The night would continue on as planned, and the band brought down the house. Each of Hiro and Janel’s brothers gave speeches that further proved the caliber of their families and friends, and the depth of their connection. At the end of the night they thanked us for being calm amidst the storm and we commended them for doing the same. They invited us to the after party, and we would’ve 100% taken them up on their warm invitation if we didn’t have to get home to Capa. As we said our goodbyes and I started ratcheting down the light stands, I found a glass of wine that a guest put in my hand from 30 minutes before--and I couldn’t help but take a sip and want to stay a little longer.
Closing out the night
with Hiro and Janel! Contact us below for your own photography.
Vendors
Photography | Apollo Fields
Reception | 74Wythe | Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Getting Ready Photos | William Vale | Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Florals | Eriko Nagata | EriN Design INTL | New York, NY
Caterer | Nuhma NYC | New York, NY
Honu Kitchen Wedding in Huntington, Long Island
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Selecting the location(s) for your wedding ceremony and reception isn’t always a straight-forward conversation. You have to consider: accessibility, cost, capacity, chair and table rentals, logistics, weather, vendor lists, and even things you don’t think about like bathrooms. In this selection process you’re forced to prioritize what is most important to you and your significant other. Sage and John kept it simple—good food, good booze, and a good community—in two very familiar locations: John’s family’s church for the ceremony and the restaurant they had their first date for the reception.
The sanctuary of the church was a mix of beautiful wooden arches and pews and recently renovated clean white granite. The family pastor who led the service spoke honestly and jovially, weaving in biblical quotes as seamlessly as the architecture of the room blended together. These walls have seen John’s family through good times and bad, and it’s ironically the tragic and celebratory moments that remind us of the supportive communities we have in our lives. From opposite sides of the emotional spectrum we constantly find ourselves drifting back to the center where we feel safe, where we feel loved. What more appropriate place for John and Sage’s wedding ceremony than the embracing arms of this powerful community.
The reception shifted gears into the heart of one of Huntington’s busiest restaurants, Honu. A modern, dimly lit multi-level expansive space with large white pillars, a dance floor, and contemporary Asian cuisine. Just a few years back, John and Sage were first laughing with one another over one of the cocktail tables. Now they were holding their sides as their best man and maid of honor spoke straight from their hearts and funny bones. Rather than have a quintessential “sweethearts table” they had what I would call a “sweetheart’s nook” where they could have a bit of privacy and probably steal a nap if they really wanted to. Rest assured they partied like the best of them and waited until much later to call it a wedding day.
Shortly after dinner we pulled them out onto the streets of Huntington to snap a few romantics for posterity. We stumbled across an antique green chair on the sidewalk that perfectly complemented their classic, clean, almost timeless appearance. We kept laughing and walking when we suddenly stopped upon a narrow alleyway that you wouldn’t trust at night but glowed in all of it’s golden hour glory. Without hesitation John and Sage jumped in their and we snapped this absolute gem.
Whether locations happen upon (like this alley) you or you know your priorities (family church, first date spot), know that your wedding day will be amazing no matter what. Adversities are inevitable but logistics will be worked out. “Where there is a will there is a way,” or perhaps more accurately, “where there is love, there will be a wedding.”
Vendors:
Cocktail Hour / Reception Venue | Honu Kitchen & Cocktails
DJ/Band | DJ Keith Cheshire
Cake / Bakery | Sammy Barea
Dress | Stella York | Max Bridal
Shoes | Badgley Mischka
Earrings and Bracelet | Olive & Piper
Makeup | Amanda Rose Cosmetics
Hair | Alexa Toscano
Florist | Bella Flower
Invitations | Zazzle.com
Champagne Escort Cards | Leslie Barlow
Colorado Wedding Photographers
We Just Landed in CO for a Rad Wedding Weekend!
Wedding Photography Lifestyle and Travel Blog | Destination Wedding Photographers in Colorado and NYC | Terrence and Heather Huie | Apollo Fields Weddings
Well it’s finally here. Wedding season.
We’re so pumped that we feel like Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers—well except the fact that we’re actually invited to the weddings we’re attending!
I like to say we are invited because that’s how we feel about the relationship with our couples, how each of them welcome us into their lives and give us the responsibility and privilege of documenting some of their life’s most precious moments. Of course, we take great pride in the professional service that we provide, but it’s the families and friends that we meet along the way that make us grateful to no end. Jes and Emma got our season off to a heart melting start a couple weeks ago, but we just landed in Colorado to officially kick it off with a bang!
Aaand it’s snowing...in May. Well it’s actually not all that unheard of in Colorado this time of year, but we planned to hit the ground running and make our way to Boulder to meet up with one of our couples, Kelly and Alec, for an outdoor engagement session today but mother nature had other ideas (usually we are all for weather but this is all gray, freezing rain, no mountain views, and no light whatsoever). So we’ll be rescheduling that for later this trip! Kelly and Alec are a wonderfully thoughtful couple who got engaged on a picturesque bridge in Amsterdam and will be hosting their outdoor wedding in Boulder this August at Wedgewood! (Let’s hope it doesn’t snow :) ) Shout out to our close friends, Matt and Kerry, who will be hosting us while we make the most of our time in one of our favorite places!
Tomorrow we head back down to Denver to begin the wedding weekend for Naomi and Johnny. Their rehearsal dinner is at New Terrain Brewing Company (hell yeah!) in Golden and we can’t wait. We just shot their engagement session in Norfolk, Virginia at a gorgeous trail head and brewery (finding a theme? :)) a couple months back and we’re so excited to meet their friends and family. If they’re anything like Naomi and Johnny we’re in for a heartfelt weekend. On Saturday, they’re hosting their wedding at The Pines at Genesee, a gorgeous outdoor wedding venue in Golden that we’re very familiar with. We can’t wait!
The same night, Casey and Thomas are getting married at Altona Grange Hall up in Longmont and we’re so excited for them! Our awesome associate, Sarah, is covering their wedding while we kick some ass in Golden and I know she’s going to do a killer job as always. They are a couple who dated in high school, lost touch, then eventually serendipitously reconnected in Chicago five years later. It’s funny how love seems to find us in the strangest ways. Here’s to the mysterious machinations that bring us all together!
Finally, we finish the trip with our dear friends Kat and Brett. Kat and I met working together at Oasis Brewing Company where we immediately connected over our unique blend of dark humor and entrepreneurial professionalism. I’m stoked to shoot their outdoor engagement session in Golden Gate Canyon State Park and look forward to sharing a laugh or twelve while we catch up over a beer (okay—there’s definitely a theme here).
All we ask as your wedding photojournalists is to show us your true selves. Unapologetic and unflinching, embrace the relationships that you’ve all deemed worthy to invest your life into. After all, these people are your partners, your secret-keepers, and your livelihood. Open your eyes and hearts and we will be there to capture it all.
Our Travel Dates:
Thursday, May 9: Boulder
Friday, May 10: Golden
Saturday, May 11: Longmont + Golden
Sunday, May 12: Arvada
Monday, May 13: Denver
Tuesday, May 14: Arvada >> FLY BACK TO NYC
We have a lot of weddings and shoots, but since we like to work hard + play hard, we are loosely planning on having a meetup Monday evening at Oasis Brewery to see some of our favorite faces. All are welcome, as usual :)
XO,
Terrence & Heather
The Best of 2018 Wedding Photography
Apollo Fields Wedding Photography | Best of 2018 | Colorado and New York Weddings
Happy Times Lift All Spirits, Sad Times Fortify Them
As the rain continued to fall on that foggy, cool, northeastern October day, all I could feel was Heather’s cold hands. I remember holding them as our dear friend and wedding officiant, David Miller, recounted Heather and I’s relationship with his warm, welcoming voice. I can still see him smiling when I think about it. I can still imagine being hoisted up by my friends during the horah, even though neither Heather or I are the slightest bit Jewish. When I think back on it, every height we reached on our wedding day seems untouchable—like your most nostalgic childhood memory—only we were just a couple of adults in love.
Two months later and we were back in sunny Colorado but Heather’s hands were still cold. Only this time I looked into her shivering eyes and watched as she tried to speak through her quivering lips, still blue from the anesthesia. “I’m sooo cold,” she muttered, as tears ran down my cheeks like warm little streams of gratitude. “We’re going to be all right,” I told her. The laparoscopic surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy from Heather’s Fallopian tube was a success, but it ran longer than expected, and just fifteen minutes earlier I was pacing in an empty hospital waiting room like I needed to be admitted to a psych ward. It was 6:00 am on Christmas morning and I’d never felt so devoid of emotion—my heart as vacant as that waiting room—yet there we were, still just a couple of adults in love.
As 2019 begins I can’t help but ruminate on these highs and lows and think of the constant, unshakeable love that saw us through all of it. The end of 2018 dragged my heart through depths that I never wanted to know, but just a month prior we were literally leaping with joy from cliffs into the aquamarine waters of Negril, Jamaica on our honeymoon. Life apparently has a funny way of teaching us important lessons—and by funny I mean unforgiving and agonizing. If it’s anything I learned in 2018 is how important it is to cultivate and maintain a steady love as much as possible—because one minute you can be celebrating with ease—and the next minute you can be holding the hand of the person you love in a hospital bed. It is only with a constant love that you can weather the harshest storms and ride the highest highs and always come out on top.
The rest of 2018 was filled with a medley of moments, both big and small, that made us grateful for everyone in our lives. From launching Apollo Fields, shooting Hailey & Mark’s, Don & Aaliyah’s, and Kate & Jeff’s weddings in Colorado, to joining all of them on their dance floors afterwards. To seeing my first moose and calf on a hike to Lake Isabelle near Nederland, Colorado! Not to mention the friends who came to see us off at our going away party at Sloan’s Lake and Oasis Brewing Company, affirming the quality of people that we are attracting into our lives right now. This was further proven in the endless red carpets that were rolled out during our traumatic December in Colorado while we were working through our ectopic pregnancy. I don’t know if we will ever be able to appropriately thank you all.
What I can promise you is that I will be there for all of you like you were there for us. Where happy times lift all spirits, sad times fortify them. Heather and I have never been stronger and for that I am thankful—to her, to all of you—I will hold your hands tightly when they are cold, and I will let them go to fly into the air when they are good and warm. I love you all.
Here’s some of our awesome couples this year! Ranging from Colorado to New York to Pennsylvania to Connecticut
Some of our 2018 Venues:
Boettcher Mansion | Golden, CO
Ten Mile Station | Breckenridge, CO
The Riverview | Simsbury, CT
Skylight | Sante Fe Art District, Denver, CO
Garden of The Gods | Colorado Springs, CO
The Hudson Gardens Event Center | Littleton, CO
Wedgewood Boulder Creek | Boulder, CO
The Four Seasons Hotel | Philadelphia, PA
Western Riviera | Grand Lake, CO
The Barn at Raccoon Creek | Littleton, CO
The Ritz-Carlton, Beaver Creek Resort | Bachelor Gulch, CO
Lookout Mountain | Golden, CO
Archetype Distillery | Denver, CO
Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art | Boulder, CO
The Four Seasons | Vail, CO
Brookside Gardens | Berthoud, CO
Spring Canyon | Buena Vista, CO
Donovan Pavillion | Vail, CO
Saddleback Golf Course | Longmont, CO
Evergreen Lake House, Evergreen, CO
Wedgewood Brittany Hill | Thornton, CO
Glen Eyrie Castle | Colorado Springs, CO
Chief Hosa Lodge | Golden, CO
Folino Estate Vineyard | Kutztown, PA
Chautauqua Dining Hall | Boulder, CO
The Broadmoor | Colorado Springs, CO
Perfection is a Fiction: NYC and The Andy Warhol Exhibit
NYC Museums | Andy Warhol, The Whitney | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography
Most of my trips to modern art museums are filled with artful dances around statuesque ponderers and remembering to check the arch of my eyebrows as my eyes learn what’s in in fashion right now. With each brightly colored cube, broken television set, or inflatable animal made of metal, my mind is thrown into a metaphysical whirlwind at the hands and mercy of Dadaism and all of its absurdist descendants. Trying to make sense of art when conventional aesthetics is thrown out the window is like walking through a busy foreign marketplace – you know something is being said, you just have no idea what it is. It’s an uncomfortable feeling until you stumble across a piece that makes you stop and tilt your head at different angles as you try to understand a language you do not yet know.
The piece in the background at the top of this post was from my most recent trip to the Andy Warhol exhibit at The Whitney in New York titled Before and After. It’s been said that it’s Warhol’s self-criticism of his own plastic surgery, while others remark that the original magazine advertisement that Warhol borrowed from was inherently anti-Semitic and that that was his intent. It makes me think that perhaps the most beautiful (or tragic) thing about modern art is that we don’t have to understand the intent of the artist and that we can create an entirely new meaning of our own. As I wandered through Warhol’s life of work, I began to learn more and more about the man behind the Campbells can – and to my surprise, something about the lens through which I view the world as well.
When I saw Warhol’s Before and After it made me think of the world of appearances of social media. It made me think, “this is the way we all want to look” (the person on the right), but in reality most of us look like the person on the left. It made me think that perfection is a fiction we want so badly to be true that we curate our lives into Snaps and Instas. That with every filter and post we draw further from reality and the sanity that comes with embracing the hooked-nose image staring back at us in the mirror. Who knows what Warhol actually meant but that’s how it made me feel.
I realized that good art gives you a license to create. It makes you think, but above all it validates all of the crazy ideas that run through your head. If before the Campbells print became famous, Warhol were try to explain that idea to someone else, it would’ve sounded asinine. And perhaps it is. But because Warhol bypassed the potentially paralyzing explain-the-craziness-inside-your-head-to-someone-else-stage of creation, we have a piece of art that makes us, or at least me, sit and think for a second. It eventually spurred me to organize my thoughts and put them onto this paper.
I guess the lesson is that perfection is a fiction and I prefer to live in reality. When I stood like any of the other entitled museum-goers at Warhol’s Before and After I immediately liked the image on the right more. You can’t help the urge to like what is aesthetically more pleasing, but learning to accept and appreciate our imperfections confronts the real rather than filtering it out.
Happy Birthday, Heather!
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Heather’s Birthday Post – November 15, 2018
Happy Birthday to the woman who has taken the best parts about me and brought them to the surface. Without her, I wouldn’t be a published author, small business owner, or husband—AKA everything that means something to me at this point in my life. I honestly have no idea where I would be without her—and I look forward to all of the places we will be together that we do not yet know.
Heather is the kind of person to triple book herself, crush each event, then ask for more. I’m the kind of person to bring her a bottle of whiskey and an empty tumbler. That’s how we differ yet that’s why we work. In a constant state of give-and-take, we spin through our days like ice in a mixing glass, swirling around our personalities like flavors, combining our contrasts into a well-balanced drink—smooth yet strong, and the lingering taste leaves you asking for more. It’s not perfect but it does keep us happy.
This time last year we were driving to an AirBnB tucked in the mountains, safe from the chill with a cozy wood-burning fireplace. This year we’re riding the LIRR to carouse about NYC and enjoy a different side of life. Seemingly always on the same page, Heather and I are writing our story together with a pen we share, speaking different voices onto the page with the same ink. Every year that passes every take stock of all of our experiences and each year exceeds the last. I’m just grateful to have a partner to explore so many worlds with.
In the last month we moved cross country, made all the food for our wedding, got married, took a honeymoon to Jamaica, and settled into our interim home in Long Island. Just writing that made me tired, yet at no point during it did I feel fatigued. We approached each day as a team, working towards a shared goal in each of our imperfect ways. By sharing our individual energies, we rejuvenate each other along the way with jokes, side dishes, and healthy dollops of silliness. It’s like when you work with someone behind the bar long enough that you know where they put the Maraschino cherries, only when you get there the jar is empty and you look up at them to see them making a ridiculous face. Everyday of our lives is like that and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Somehow on her birthday I started talking about the great things about us and strangely enough, I don’t know a better compliment for a person. Heather is a facilitator, a happy haggler, an absolutely messy chef, and will be an even better mother. When I think about the journey of life and how each year represents so much yet so little, I remember the infinitude of infantile moments we’ve laughed through and the major milestones we’ve high-fived to. It’s entirely too easy to get lost as we move through different stages of my life, but this day has me grateful for Heather’s face, happily illuminated over her birthday candle to help guide my way.
Jamaica Honeymoon - Day 6
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Final Day in Jamaica – Pam’s Birthday
Mid-flight en route back to New Jersey – Wednesday, November 7th, 2018
When I opened my eyes on the last full day of our honeymoon in Jamaica, the pale blue sky peered over the balcony and climbed into our four post bed into the space between dreaming and reality. Light and ethereal, each blink revealed a bit more of the world I’ve come to love, inviting me to ease down the floating wooden staircase one more time. I didn’t know then, but in those fleeting moments, the lens through which I’ve viewed the world finally lined up with the way the island of Jamaica communicates to your soul.
I started the day by setting down a steaming cup of coffee on a table right outside of Pam’s room. It was her 61st birthday and I knew that that would be the first thing on her wish list. Stepping outside into the blaring sun, we gently made our way down to the volcanically-formed cliffs of Negril at Sun Down Villa, careful not to spill any of our precious liquid energy along the way. We stumbled upon Rick and Steve lounging, plucking at a ukulele as the notes drifted and eventually faded into the warm, Caribbean air. Pam and Rick decided to take a cruise on their Vespa down to the beach where their love of the island first began over thirty years ago.
Heather, Steve, and I abruptly made a move towards Just Natural Fish and Veggies, the local food joint in the bush of Westmoreland. Our first trip there, Pam had her eyes on a locally-crafted blue canvas bag with a crudely-but-beautifully painted sunset and we knew we had to get it for her. We enjoyed another meal and chatted with our favorite hosts, Theresa and Christine, as they shared unsolicited marital advice about loving one another and your children. Our favorite anecdote was Christine’s memory of when she first got married: “oh in those times, we would make love anywhere it was dark — in the bush, in our bedroom, it didn’t matter. But remember, always lock your door and wear a nightie!” Satiated in body and mind, we scooted from the richest Jamaican experience we’d had to date.
All of us eventually regathered and began our trip to various cliffside resorts. It began at the Tensing Pen, where we were met at the gate by a security guard who stared at us like we stole her lunch money back in high school. After authoritatively mumbling into a walkie-talkie, she granted us access with a stern finger wag in the general direction of the bar. Nonetheless, the resort was cozy, kind of like the Lost Boy’s huts in Peter Pan, connected to one another by rope bridges and shaded winding cobblestone paths. We originally planned to go to there to jump from one of these wooden bridges suspended over the sea, so Pam could wave her proverbial finger to the process of aging, but we were told by the security guard that we weren’t allowed to enjoy any of the amenities. After quickly slugging our round of Red Stripes, we were on to the next one.
Lucky for us, the next stop was much more accommodating. No finger-wagging security guard, no restrictions, only a large modern lobby to welcome us like something out of Forbes magazine. We normally wouldn’t expect genuine hospitality from a place as lavish as the Cliffs Resort, but two men changed it all. Trevor, who went by Johnie Walker, and Omighty, shortened to Omight, rolled out the Jamaican equivalent of red carpets. These two healthy, young, vibrant Jamaican men made drinks while they sang to their favorite tunes like they were bartenders out of the movie Cocktail, giving us free shots and asking us if we wanted to snorkel on The Cliff’s private coral reef. Nothing like any of the other resorts we visited, we felt the camaraderie that’s typically found in Irish pubs in New York City, like you can have any conversation with the person next to you (for better or worse), all while gazing out at a pink Caribbean sunset.
Our final stop on our invasion of all-inclusive resorts was a place called Xtabi. The dining patio was sprawling with empty candlelit tables and vacant chairs, making the space seem sad with lost opportunities of romance. A small cat meandered between the legs of our chairs, quietly mewing and purring with the hopes of a free meal. Pam and Rick ordered their favorite dish, lobster thermidore, which I consider a cheap (albeit expensive) favorite, because anything would be delicious smothered in butter, garlic, and cheese. Steve ordered the shrimp scampi which strangely came with rice and it made me wonder how available pasta is on the Caribbean islands. I ordered fried chicken because my ambition at trying local cuisine hit the roadblock of Americanized resort food. The best part of the meal was walking beneath the resort in the caves, listening to the waves slam against the tunneled walls, echoing their strength into our ears. I felt like I was in a scene from the Goonies.
The first couple days in our AirBnB we were a little hesitant to walk the streets as motorcyclists tore by the vendors and local restaurants with reckless pride. We wanted to engage with the real Jamaican culture, but were not sure of a proper access point for two under-informed tourists. Yet like those hummingbirds in Barney’s garden, Heather and I hovered from place to place, learning to stop and trust the people inside those brightly colored shacks one at a time. We made friends at resorts, Johnie Walker and Omight, and local spots, Theresa and Christine, learning that there are friends all around us if only we are open enough to look. Upon our initial arrival, we stayed behind the high gated walls of Sun Down Villa, but in the end, we saw that the sunrise and sunset, in all of their naturally beautiful glory, were just as welcoming as the pairs of eyes that greeted us behind all of those brightly colored doors.
Jamaica Honeymoon - Day 5
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Jamaica Honeymoon – Day 5 ~9:40 am, local time
Day five of the honeymoon felt like the first step back towards the Montego Bay airport and our beloved animals that wait for us back in New Jersey. As the trip comes to a close, I sink just a little deeper into my lounge chair, holding onto the sunshine and the view of the sea for just a little longer. Six days is a healthy length for a trip where lounging is the default, any longer and you might get a little too used to it.
We’ve taken a dip off the cliffs every morning we’ve been here, partly because it’s available, but mostly because it takes the edge off the heat. You kind of form this relationship with the water in tropical climates, using it as a sort of reset button for your body to reach a more comfortable operating temperature for the next few hours. The residual salt in your hair clings to your follicles like a natural hair product, maintaining its shape while the wind blows through it bringing salt crystals back to the sea from whence it came.
One of our hosts, Tom, recommended a local lobster joint, Sips n Dips, for the freshest catch in town for lunch. We strolled up around opening time and were greeted by an elderly man who’d informed us it’d be about 40 minutes. He spoke with the familiar island intonation, carrying a nonchalance as relaxed as the wind and waves. In Jamaica, you either embrace the speed or hurriedly wait, because the beach doesn’t differentiate between footprints in the sand. Heather and I welcomed the idle time, knowing the service industry well and the importance of proper food preparation. When our cook/server came by with our tray of fresh lobster, we started by prying the tails out with our forks, eventually resorting to our fingertips to finish the job. At one point I looked down at my hands and wondered how people keep this operation clean in white tablecloth restaurants and thought that beneath the shade of a tree is the better place to be.
Climbing back onto the Vespa and pulling out onto the main road, we coincidentally caught Pam, Rick, and Steve cruising by. We decided to take a ride up the coast a bit to see some more of the island but it didn’t last long as every hundred feet past the last Americanized resort the road turned into a minefield of potholes. Driving a Vespa with Heather on the back was like having a computer update you with every potential danger in the area: “You’re going too fast, but don’t hit that pothole, wait, watch out for that sand patch!” All the while the wind moves past us keeping us cool and comfortable.
We stopped at Rick’s Café on the way back, the tourist trap of tourist traps in Negril. Large, fake stone patios, a big stage, one of those rectangular picture frames that you can stand in and more overweight white people than a Red Lobster in Texas. Institutions like these undermine the culture in which they operate when people travel hundreds of miles to have a chicken club on the cliffs of Negril.
Of course it’s a choice and risking your hunger on unfamiliar cuisine creates a risk for a rumbling stomach, but I can’t help but think when I visit these places that this is what’s wrong with our culture. Heather and I have already made the mistake twice: once in the Dominican Republic shooting a wedding and the other time in Cancun, where you experience such an Americanized version of a country that it’s offensive to even say that you visited it. I guess places like Rick’s are inevitable in highly trafficked vacation spots, but it does both of our cultures a disservice with their sheer existence.
Everyday of my life I want to make a connection. Whether its person-to-person or person-to-culture, connections are bridges of understanding that can conquer ignorance one experience at a time. A relationship with the water and the wind will sweep us into a more united future much quicker than any resort or tourist trap ever could.
Jamaica Honeymoon - Day 4
Jamaican Honeymoon in Negril | Travel Couple | Adventurous Honeymooning | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography
Jamaica – Day 4 ~ 8:00 am, local time
We woke again at sunrise, as the dark turned to light. The breeze from the fans and the sea swirled all around us, stirring us awake. We’ve adapted to a different sleeping schedule here, one that is dictated by the rising and setting of the sun rather than binge watching and rolling over in bed. You get more out of the day living this way.
We started the morning with breakfast at a local restaurant called Sips n’ Bites. It was one of the many colorful open places that lined West End Road with a chalkboard out front that listed their offerings. As Heather and I looked over the menu, a woman came outside to tell us that they only had a couple of the items. It was refreshing to know that they wouldn’t just serve us any old stuff laying around. I stayed within the familiar, ordering curried chicken while Heather tried to order something vegetarian. When our plates came they were heavy with Jamaican staples: festival, their version of a zeppoli; an unripe banana; sautéed greens reminiscent of kale; fried plantains; and rice and beans drizzled with coconut oil. My curried chicken was authentic and succulent while Heather was served something that looked like scrambled eggs. Tougher in consistency, we asked the waitress what it was and she responded that it was either cod, cat, or conk fish and it left our palates puzzled. We later found out it was ackee and salted fish, an acquired taste that we had not yet acquired. It was no problem as we washed it down with the freshest squeezed orange juice that I’ve ever tasted.
We saddled back onto the Vespa and headed towards Pam, Rick, and Steve to do some snorkeling. Right before we boarded the yellow and black boat, a storm passed through, throwing rain sideways beneath all the thatched roofs. After the sky cleared and the sun poked back through the clouds, we were well on our way to the coral reefs with our local guides. Gently coasting on the Caribbean, we peered through the six fiberglass windows on the bottom of the boat, watching sea urchins and starfish live beneath the sea. Once we dropped into the water, I rotated my head to the left and right like a security camera, trying to spot the exotic fish in their natural habitat. I’d been snorkeling in the Caribbean before and didn’t really see anything I haven’t seen before, when a sort of omniscient peace washed over me. It wasn’t about spotting the Moby Dick of the Caribbean anymore, it was just about swimming along, undisturbed, watching life as it unfolded whether I was there or not. I could’ve stayed there all day.
Instead, we coasted back to Rick, Pam, and Steve’s resort, the treehouse, before we made our way to Rick’s Café. Heather and I stopped at another local jerk chicken joint and I had my first favorite food item - jerk sauce - its sweet at the front like mole but packs a much bigger punch after a few seconds. When I’m at a new restaurant, I always sample the sauces on the table before the food arrives. We ordered a light pineapple cole slaw that made the ¼ pound containers from delis back home feel like a heavy glob of old cabbage and mayonnaise. The service was slow but warm-hearted, and I will take a delicious slow meal over a fast fake one anytime. By the time we got to Rick’s the sun had set and the cliff jumping suspended for the day. I wasn’t going to jump anyway, as I had far too many red stripes and pulls from joints to desire to plunge into the water from a fifty foot cliff.
We ended the night at a patio bar called LTC with a bartender called Jason, AKA Big Red AKA Porn Star. He’d gotten that last nickname working at another resort where he’d dance and eventually take his clothes off. He said it was just in his nature, then cackled to himself as if he was a schoolgirl revealing an embarrassing secret. In the comfort of a warm bartender, the company of family, and the cool of a Jamaican night, our minds had no other choice but to enjoy ourselves. It truly is the Jamaican way.
Jamaica Honeymoon - Day 3
Apollo Fields Destination Wedding Photographers | Negril, Jamaica | Honeymoon Adventures
Jamaica – Day 3
Sunday, November 4th, 2018 ~7:35 am, local time
Another morning waking to the ebbs and flows of the Caribbean Sea. There’s something about the sound of waves crashing that lures your mind into the rhythm of nature, reminding you that everything that comes will also go. The whitewater that sprays into the air, jettisoning from the sharp rock face, shows no concern for my presence, or for any of the other creatures that cling to their cratered homes on this violently-formed beautiful façade. Yet it’s these wall-dwelling sea creatures — these Jamaican mussels and crabs — that taught me that we need to carve a small niche for ourselves, where we can brave the onslaught of life’s elements, if we want to survive in this otherwise unforgiving world.
We took a right out of Sundown Villa this morning for the first time on our Vespa, passing Rick’s Café among the other horribly named Americanized resorts like ‘The Palms’ and ‘Lover’s Paradise” as the wind whipped around our bodies on our way to a place called “Barney’s Hummingbird and Flower Sanctuary.” Heather clung to my back like a baby koala as we veered off the pavement onto a dirt road, her lips stammering through the worried words of her mind like mental pot holes. We passed a man walking down the road, sharpening a machete and were reminded of our cab driver who told us that all the goats that roam the island are owned by someone — and if you were to say, pick one up — you will find yourself on the wrong end of one of those blades. We swerved around the man and slowed as we approached two large, faded green doors that hung on rusted hinges.
“Hello!” Said a thin pale-skinned old man donning a worn trousers-and-suspenders outfit as he swung the gates open. “Welcome to my hummingbird and flower sanctuary. I am Barney, the proud German-Jamaican-English owner of this place,” he added. As he led us through the narrow walkways of his garden, the flutter of hummingbirds moved all around us, kind of like the sound of tiny handheld toy fans. Palms and large leaves hung down as geckos and other insects fed from the vibrant pink, red, and yellow flowers that boomed in contrast to the blue sky. Barney gave us all tiny bottles with punctured red caps that dripped with sugar water to lure the hummingbirds in. We held our outstretched arms in the air, mimicking the branches that reached over the garden’s pathways, hoping that the birds would come feed from our “flowers.” Patiently walking around, the birds began to trust us one at a time, holding fast in midair right in front of our faces, mother nature’s natural helicopters, hovering in place, wings effortlessly flapping seventy times a second. Barney grinned a grin that only a hummingbird expert could grin, or maybe it was because of the six-pack of Red Stripe.
Eager for local cuisine we stopped just up the road at a place called Just Natural Veggies. Simple enough, I thought. From there we ordered rum punch, a vegetable plate, lobster salad, sweet potato and plantain, and a bean and rice burrito. As we walked to the side of the restaurant we followed a path into the jungle, tables and chairs scattered about like a diner inside the woods. There were checker board tables that used plastic bottle caps and Red Stripe caps as checkers and each table had an orange bottle of locally made hot habanero hot sauce. We ate our freshly made dishes in the middle of the jungle, no one around but the smiling faces of the restaurant, who laughed and joked as they set down our plates. They could’ve been feeding us fried gecko for all we knew as we sat mesmerized in this restaurant that made rustic concepts back home look like four-star hotels. In the jungle and of the jungle, we walked out of there happy and full.
There are niches to be carved, if only we are wise enough to see them. These experiences will stick to my heart like the geckos on the flowers and the mussels on the rock wall. As the trip continues, I can only hope to unearth more things that I can learn from and grow closer to carving out my own crater I can call home.
Jamaica Honeymoon - Day 2
Jamaican Honeymoon | Negril, Jamaica | Apollo Fields Destination Wedding Photographers
Jamaica – Day 2
8:00 am, local time
Another welcoming morning on the Caribbean Sea. The birds fluttering overhead, searching for scraps and seeds while Heather sits up in bed scratching at her mosquito bites. The waves crashing with a regular familiarity that’s impossible to forget, kind of like your mother calling you home for dinner from the front porch. Who knows what the world has in store for us today, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The first two nights Heather and I cooked and stayed in after dark. A combination of the mysterious foreign streets and a travel-induced fatigue, we drew a bath and enjoyed each other’s company in a tub of lukewarm water. There is a definite fear of the unknown, of sitting on a wooden stool in a straw shack on any of the thousands of dark streets in Jamaica. Horror stories from the United States embedded in me creating a hesitance like that of a lost child. I am ashamed for it. It makes me think of the role that caution plays when a person finds themselves in a different culture and how trust is linked to the environments that we know.
Heather’s uncle, Rick. is a great example of this. Conservative through-and-through, he comes down to Jamaica to shake hands and bask in the safety of nostalgia, eating dishes that he knows in bar stools that he’s warmed. Surrounding himself with other light-skinned tourists, there isn’t much difference than home, other than everything that exists outside of the Treehouse’s gated walls. When does caution or comfortability take too much control of one’s assimilation into another’s culture?
As of this morning, I’m as stifled as Rick. I want to stop at an authentic Jamaican restaurant tucked onto the side of the road like a beach shanty, but because I’ve seen none of them populated by tourists, deep down I consider them unsafe. It feels like a hard-wiring that pulls back on the reigns as I ride through a culture I do not know. Today, I will make a better effort at launching myself into the Jamaican culture and trusting those that I my ignorant instincts tell me not to trust. It’s funny how trusting people is usually my strongest attribute, yet when put to the real-world test, I’m as cautious as anyone.
Yet yesterday I jumped from cliffs at heights I’ve never leaped from before and snorkeled in rough waters close to dangerously sharp rocks. There’s an adventurous spirit in me that needs to be nudged into action, but once the opportunity arises, I tend to bypass the safety valve and dive head first. Even riding a scooter for the first time on the opposite side of the road was pretty daunting. In these moments, it’s either you do what you are afraid to do, or you live with your cowardice. The many times in life my that I’ve approached this dilemma, I’ve found that great relief lies just beyond the other side of fear, hiding behind the louder voices in your head, waiting to see if you will do it. Today I will silence those voices and immerse myself in a culture I do not know.
Jamaica Honeymoon - Day 1
Westmoreland, Jamaica | Sundown Villa | Honeymooning | Apollo Fields Photojournalism | Blog
Jamaica, Day 1
Friday, November 2nd , ~ 8:09am, local time
I woke up several times to the luminescent glow in the sky of a Jamaican sunrise, stirring to the sounds of life’s reawakening to the smell of fresh fires and morning birds. Looking out onto the rigid horizon, my view was divided in two — the sky and the sea — one blue, darker and in constant motion, while the other floated in its own lightness. The semi-frequent car horn blared from the street, bringing me back to the march of civilization that we thought we left in New York.
Hungry, I waited as Heather ruminated on her back in a lounge chair. She stared at the same dialectic view, but I know her eyes told her a different story. She saw the way the light struck the different crests of the ocean, the way it played with the rocks, creating shadows and depth as geckos crawled between the dark and the light. She heard the birds and the cars but she reached another plane of mind by sheer will, wrestling her otherwise purposeful mind into a peaceful submission. It took a bit of effort, but she got there, perhaps reaching an even more placid mental state than my own.
Most things are competitions for us and why would relaxation be any different. I told her while I was reading Shantaram that it seemed a task for her to sit still, that she should go start breakfast because 1) I was hungry, and 2) I thought that it would provide her productive mind with something to do. She disagreed, saying that it wasn’t difficult, that she found no trouble or resistance in the open space of an unoccupied mind, but I could see the struggle. The struggle of a relentless spirit meeting no opponent, of a force pushing forward to find no resistance, where effort was not rewarded but yielded to. What does a warrior make of passivity on the battlefield where victory reveals nothingness? Where there is no one to fight and nowhere to go but inside one’s heart? I imagine the war is explosive and silent. I’m just happy to see her relax.
I don’t know what to expect from our time in Jamaica, safely tucked into our Airbnb on the cliffs at Sundown Villa, somewhat immersed in the culture while staying at an arms length. Before we arrived, dad and others preached caution, forewarning danger, but our host, Nadine, exudes nothing but the warmth Americans have come to expect from Rasta and Jamaican culture. Clouded in the smoke of ganja, I hope to brush shoulders with locals and eat from their authentic tradition, whether from the street or between the walls of celebrated staples. I hope to return to the States revitalized and hungry, rejuvenated yet ready to begin the search for our new home.
Farewell Colorado (For Now)
Farewell Colorado (For Now) | Apollo Fields Heads Eastward | NYC Wedding Photographers
Both of our going away parties began on picnic blankets in parks, surrounded by fresh fruit, local beer, and our closest friends. There were games and laughs, children, and sunshine. But as the days wore on, Heather and I grew closer to the reality of leaving with each farewell embrace. Lucky for me, this time around, I managed to avoid the emotional minefield of “this is the last time I will [insert memorable experience ‘x’] in [insert city ‘y’],” recognizing it as a self-imposed trap set on disturbing the logic of ambition and transition. Despite my valiant effort, both parties ended with me in tears.
I’m a long way from being ashamed of crying in public and even further from trying to hide it. I mean, what’s wrong with coming toe-to-toe with your emotions and ceding to their validity when they creep up behind your eyes? I actually find a problem in trying to suppress them. Because if we try to hide our feelings from our closest friends, then who can we be vulnerable with? In times of happiness and sadness alike, it is in our best interest to try to understand why we feel the way we feel.
In Colorado, my tears finally came when I hugged my friend, Brandon. Although only a friendship of a couple of years, the density and depth of our interactions has stretched our connection over what seems like many more. There is a candor in our exchanges that reflects contemplation and curiosity, the bedrock of understanding. If there’s anything I’ve learned from him, it’s that homemade bread will always be better than store bought. Making goods by hand is more than artistry, it is a source of value beyond our taste buds and aesthetic eyes. Thank you for teaching me this and for your friendship, Brandon.
To all of the others who came to see us off, I’ll never forget those last couple of weeks in Colorado. The Great American Beer Festival, Lake Street Dive at Red Rocks, the Rockies game, and finding a home for all of our beloved furniture. Carya and Thomas, Andy and Elaina, and Shane and Lexi, you all showed up when we needed you most and we barely had to ask. Large events like moving or weddings always bring people together and we aren’t just lucky or #blessed, we are #inyourdebt. Not like the bad kind of debt like student loans but the good kind of debt like owing your neighbor a cup of sugar or carton of eggs. The kind of debt that includes open door policies, late night pickups, and sending you home with a Tupperware of leftovers despite a bevy of polite refusals. I hope to be in debt to you all for a long time to come.
Finally, thank you to Frances & Bryce for sending us on the road with delicious food in our bellies. Whenever I think of Denver I will think of the mountains we climbed and the friends we climbed them with. Here’s to the friendships in our lives that make the Rockies look like molehills.
We're Making Big Moves!
To our dinner guests, climbers, fellow hikers, and craft beer drinkers,
...consider this our farewell, our “see you later” and the remorseful announcement of our departure from Arvada, Colorado.
To those of you in the front range of the Rockies, expect an invite to our going away party on Sunday, September 23rd, 2018, location and time TBD. Our official push off date will be September 28, 2018.
Huge transitions like these always make me feel dramatic, like it will be the last time I have this beer or hike this trail or do any of the other quintessential-and-eventually nostalgic activities of Denver that I will long for once I’m gone. Anytime my life changes this drastically my body fills with nerves, like I’m tiptoeing towards the edge of the high dive at the public pool all over again. The fear is real and paralyzing, “you should just turn back,” it says, but part of growing up is hearing that voice and diving head first into the deep end anyway.
Of course I will miss the breweries, the tubing trips, the dinner parties, and the lifelong friends we’ve met out here, but when a logical opportunity brings growth, family, and financial viability to the forefront, it’s hard to turn it down. I’ll think on these last two years in Colorado as the time where Heather and I mastered our ability to work together, both professionally and personally, while laughing up the roads into the mountains and floating down the rivers in between. I will think of the friends who we’ve hosted and the friends who’ve hosted us, especially the ones who took care of our canine and equine counterparts when we were away and kept them safe (the chickens were a different story…we still love you!!) Perhaps most of all I will miss having the silhouette of the Rockies as an everyday backdrop, always there to gaze upon while I let out an “it-gon’-be-alright” sigh as I listen to Kendrick on I-70.
And I know everything is going to be all right because it always is. Any of you who’ve spent any amount of time with me know that my optimism is as incessant as it is annoying because my positivity has all the love and no fucks to give. Heather and I will road trip across the country, get married in October, and then move to Long Island for a pit stop as we property hunt for a farm with a stone house and a fireplace. The idea of creating a wedding venue to celebrate love in all its forms while being surrounded by our animals and family is as close to a storybook as I think our lives can get. We aren’t just going to be all right, we’re going to continue being happy.
When Heather and I created The Immeasurable Cookbook we learned that the storytelling and photography was just as important as the recipes. It gave us the idea to combine her photography with my writing to launch Apollo Fields, our holistic approach to documenting weddings. As we now begin the search for our venue, Apollo Fields will evolve from capturing weddings to hosting them: planning everything from logistics to the shot list and all the unforgettable moments in between. Just like The Immeasurable Cookbook, the storytelling and photography at Apollo Fields will be just as important as the recipe, only this time we’re looking for the right couples rather than the right ingredients.
We invite you all to celebrate the things in life that make you happy even if this decision puts some geography between us. We invite you to follow us on our journey as we celebrate artistry, communication, love, and hard work in ours. Finally, we invite you to embark on your own trek into the unknown where nothing is familiar and everything is exciting.
To our next adventure,
Terrence, Heather, Rumor, Riddle, & Limbo
P.S. We've already booked weddings under Apollo Fields in Colorado next year. We will be back! If you are one of those couples, DO NOT WORRY, we're not tacking on travel fees or forgetting about you guys :)
P.P.S. We love traveling! Destination weddings are our jam. We are happy to work with your budget, so don't let our home-base keep you from reaching out! It doesn't matter if your wedding is in NYC, Denver, San Fran, The Italian Countryside, or The South Of France (a girl can dream, right) hit us up. We have some sweet connects in a lot of places that allow us to work as locals, which saves everyone money.
P.P.P.S. If anyone wants to buy our chicken coop, let us know. We put a lot of hard work into that bad boy and would love to see it go to a good home. Not joking...
Photo cred / magic goes to the unbeatable Sam Hines
Colorado Adventures That Make My Heart Smile
4.5.18 - Vital Root on Tennyson ~ 12 PM MT
We’re sitting at Vital Root after enjoying a well-crafted, fresh, lunch filled with flavor and crunch. There’s a woman breast-feeding out in the open and it’s kind of hard for me to focus, but here we go. Heather thinks that breast-feeding in public should be less stigmatized and a more common practice, and it does make sense in the same way that we should be more in tune with where our food comes from. As we distance ourselves or create social stigmas around human practices that have gotten us to where we are as a society, we are very literally losing some of the community associated with our humanity.
The last three days have felt like a vacation in Colorado: on Monday Heather and I lounged in the Mt. Princeton Hot Springs outside of Buena Vista; on Tuesday Heather rode Limbo and I climbed at Earth Treks in Golden; and on Wednesday David Miller and I carved down the slopes at Keystone and smiled and laughed in our descent. Each day contained moments of levity that are within a couple hours of our home in Arvada, providing us places of refuge and relaxation to panoramic summits and high speed descents with meandering roads and adventures in between.
The common thread running through all of them was a sense of gratitude that continuously left our lips. Heather and I were borderline tripping balls as we gazed to the sky in a creek side hot springs pool, thinking upon where we are both literally and psychologically. The strong sunrays, the quickly drifting clouds and the smell of the fresh green pines combined with the sound of the constant trickle of the cold creek over the warm rocks lured our minds towards serenity. The next day, clinking our glasses together at Kline’s Beer Hall after each of our endorphin sessions on horseback and climbing wall, respectively, made the pints go down that much easier. On the chair lifts and on the slopes, Miller and I smiled and laughed, asked and answered, and thought, felt and shared stories. When we plopped down into lounge chairs beneath the blinding high-noon sun we were billionaires, basking between snowcapped mountaintops gazing upon the best that the world has to offer. There is luxury and then there is gratitude and appreciation – without the latter, the former is empty and broken, but without the former, the heart can still smile.
It’s weird to think about a person meaning more to you than your longest friends, but David Miller has achieved such status. There is significance in the way he approaches conversations, welcoming the mundane and the magnanimous with an equal hand as if each holds equal importance. In a paradoxical way there is wisdom in understanding the whole spectrum and listening to each wavelength as you try to hone in on someone’s frequency. We all walk around with our own thoughts, suffering through our troughs and celebrating our crests, and it’s easy to forget that everyone around us has their own path but when you talk to Miller you feel like he’s listening in an attempt to sync up. Being completely in concert with another’s wavelength is more than likely impossible, but that’s how I felt on the mountain with Miller – and that’s what happens when you listen to a song that resonates with you; or when you somehow spend an hour or two in front of a piece in a museum. What I’m trying to say is when you find someone who tries to sync up with your wavelength, don’t let them go, because they don’t come around that often, and human connection is invaluable.
Wedding Photographers in NYC
3.2.18 - 5004 Cody Street ~ 1:05 AM MT
Heather told me tonight that she really appreciated my partnership today. She told me that she could count on me to tidy up the house, to research SEO stuff for Apollo Fields, and that trusting someone else to handle things isn’t easy for her. Since the beginning of our relationship we’ve always trusted each other because we haven’t given each other a reason not to. It’s wonderful that that reality is also seeping into the business partnership that we’re creating.
I know that few people are lucky enough to find a significant other whom they can communicate with, work with, and even enjoy being with for a long period of time. Often times it’s hard enough to even get along with yourself for awhile. Yet here we are as a couple in pursuit of a creative endeavor that incorporates and celebrates the things that we are both best at individually. There are even fewer people who can be part of something like that.
As I explained it to several people at Oasis tonight, Heather and I’s partnership and eventual marriage was borne out of the recognition of a pattern of mutually beneficial decisions and actions. To us, concepts like eternal love are irrational fantasies seated in the rationality of the human mind; pursuing them is akin to letting your conscience be commanded by a belief in heaven and hell—it allows imaginary ideas to take precedence over the human faculty of rationality.
In the past three years Heather and I have taken countless trips, published a cookbook, moved across the country, adopted a Doberman from a sandwich shop, had our Jack Russell become paraplegic, acquired a horse, and fought and laughed in between. Many things have stood in our way but none of them have stopped us. Our relationship withstands the things that come our way because we know we control our actions and that we will be there for our partner when they get in their own way.
To say that, “we don’t fight” is a misnomer and an oversimplification—we hold different opinions all the time, but it’s a matter of choosing when and where to dig our feet into the mud. It takes emotional will power to cede your pride in the name of the greater good of the relationship, but learning to govern your feelings in order to foster an atmosphere of trust, support, and honesty will always be worth it. There are times when I or Heather knows that the arena we have chosen to fight in is a waste of time or that we were not meant to share this same battlefield and we’ve learned that that’s OK. Our altercations are a matter of recognizing what works and what doesn’t, or what’s harmful and what’s helpful. It’s less of a fight and more of a concerted effort at honest communication aimed at understanding.
Through all of the fun and tears we strive to create love and act out of rationality and reason. It’s less exciting than the love stories we’ve been told and sounds less sexy than the hyperbole of unoriginal wedding vows, but it’s the closest thing to being human that I can imagine. If Heather and I love each other enough we will bring another human into a world where creativity, rationality, and reason are the concepts dangling above the crib, slowly spinning on a hand-stitched mobile as stubby, wrinkly fingers reach for the sky. Instead of pursuing imaginary fantasies we are writing our story one thoughtful camera click and pen stroke at a time.