Hamilton Hall Wedding in NYC

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Carly & Mike’s Wedding

Walking through Harlem with eight-month-old baby Capa strapped to my chest felt like a bridge between two versions of myself: the mid-twenties, student/martini-mixer and the early-thirties small business owner/infant entertainer extraordinaire. The former stayed up until six a.m. drinking and the latter currently wakes at six a.m. to help another person drink. Sleep is seldom in both versions but the idea of it is much sexier now. The link between the two is my wife, Heather, who helped elevate my life from those romantically late New York City nights to my current state of blissful, overworked, exhaustion.

I first met Carly when she was a bartender at my favorite late night jaunt, a bar fondly remembered as AmTav (Amsterdam Tavern) at 106th and Broadway. I’d walk in with my tie undone and saddle up to the bar next to other industry folk with empty shot glasses in front of them. Carly would always be finishing a story or giving somebody the business over what an idiot they were. She embodied the kind of take-no-shit NYC bartender that I always wanted to be but never had the stomach for. I met her partner, Mike, there a number of nights after he finished his shift down at St. Marks that all seem to blend together now. He was (and is) always so kind, charming, and welcoming. They really make a great pair.

Carly and Mike love hosting for all the same reasons Heather and I love hosting: fresh food, strong, well-made drinks, and gathering people around a table to share stories and laugh. They know not to freak out when guests start arriving because they know things always will come together. Just throw a drink in their hands, keep doing what you’re doing, or ask them to help. The true beauty of having good friends is that you can rely on them—the frivolous, irresponsible, and selfish ones were cut before last call.

Carly and Mike replanned their wedding more times than an Upper West Sider sends back a bone dry martini. Yet they still held an incredibly authentic celebration of their love at The Hamilton Hall in Harlem. Carly and Mike’s guests first walked into the space to find handmade seating cards made by Carly herself. Then, as they made their way past the long, wooden bar, more personalized details adorned the tables and walls: wildflower arrangements, specialized bitters from TNT Bitters (a company that Mike runs with his business partner, Anna), and printed itineraries of what to expect the rest of the evening. They held their ceremony down on a secluded outdoor patio and they entered together to the biggest ovation I have heard for a bride and groom to date.

There is absolutely a community in the late night bar scene in New York City. We grew closer as the morning grew nearer and we never seemed to care. We learned that you leave some friends at the service bar because you want something more. And there was always some epiphanic revelation about life that turned out to be nonsense in the morning. But maybe those late nights and early mornings were training us to operate on short sleep to have a family one day. Or maybe we were just rounding up a crew of misfits that we were just beginning to consider family. Either way, food and drink did bring us together.