Non-Traditional Wedding Planning and Inspiration
DIY Wedding Ideas | Non-Traditional Wedding | Farm Wedding Photographers | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography | Ramsey, NJ
As wedding photojournalists we’ve had the privilege of documenting people on the best day of their lives. Surrounded by friends and family, our wedding couples celebrate their love with the traditions their families have taught them. But what happens if a couple doesn’t have any traditions? Or what if they do but they don’t have any connection to them? Please take these words as a license to create the wedding that best defines your relationship. Borrow from different traditions or create your own. There are no rules.
Heather and I chose to have our wedding at her aunt and uncle’s private farm in Ramsey, NJ, because: 1) they allowed us to, and 2) it was our closest connection to a meaningful tradition. The owners of Honeymoon Acres, Aunt Pam and Uncle Rick got married there in 1996 and we wanted to honor their union by following in their footsteps. Far from perfect, the farm is a haven for animals and family gatherings, treating four legged creatures with an equal-if-not-greater-hand than our relatives. There’s humility in recognizing the value of every animal on this earth and Pam and Rick never forget that and neither will we.
When you’re planning your wedding and getting caught up in the inevitable whirlwind of varying opinions remember this: you are the stewards of your own love. It is you and your significant other who are taking this expedition together — your brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, other relatives and friends can be safe places to stop along the way — but you two are the captains. It is you two who determine the course and to cede control of your wedding day is to allow others to briefly steer the ship. If you are okay with that, fine, but know that a ship with interim captains can wind up in uncharted waters. Please forgive the dramatic analogy but I cannot overemphasize the peace and fulfillment that comes with choosing the way you wish to celebrate your love.
Heather and I decided to celebrate ours by having our friend, David Miller, officiate our mala bead ceremony (see previous post). We took this route because of something that, ironically enough, a pastor said to us at a wedding: “it’s funny, I’m probably the person in this room who knows the least about the couple getting married, yet I’m the one speaking to their loved ones about their relationship.” It was all backwards for us, so picking a friend was a no-brainer. One of the other things that David did was pass our rings around to everyone in little nests, letting our guests cradle the symbols of our love in their trusted hands. We later tried to swap out the garter/bouquet toss for a stuffed animal toss to remind ourselves of our inner children — but just like children we somehow misplaced our stuffed animals. We ended the night with a Jewish tradition, the horah, because who doesn’t want to be lifted into the air to look upon the faces of your friends and family as they have the time of their lives?
Your wedding day can be many things. Why settle for traditions that are outdated and empty? Why not borrow the ones you like? Why not create something new? Why not take the opportunity to create a community that celebrates all the best things in your life. Your wedding doesn’t have to be lavish or expensive, all it has to be is you.
Photography: Alexis Cohen & Derek Morf for Apollo Fields
Farm Venue: Honeymoon Acres, Ramsey NJ
DIY Wedding Tip: Buy a KitchenAide and Make the Food For Your Wedding
Apollo Fields Wedding Photographers | DIY Wedding Tips | Cook Your Own Food For Your Wedding | How To Feed 100 People | Ramsey, NJ Farm Wedding
Many called us crazy, others called us stupid, some called us crazy and stupid. But for us, hosting a dinner party, albeit one with 100 guests, was just another day at the office. We knew it would be hard work to make the food for our own wedding, but when we thought about doing that which defines our relationship on our wedding day, making a fresh pasta bar and serving it to our guests was simply something we had to do.
First off, I have to thank KitchenAide for making such a reliable product. Without Fernando/Fernandina (our unisex name for our KitchenAide), Heather and I would’ve worked pasta dough by hand until we could barely hold a fork and knife. Instead, we managed to churn out four fresh dishes to accommodate veg heads and meat lovers alike. The crowd favorite was the pumpkin and butternut squash ravioli served in a sage brown butter sauce; followed by the vegetable lasagna with herbed ricotta; long slices of zucchini and fresh tomato; then it was a classic — spaghetti and meat sauce made with fresh tomatoes and roasted red peppers; and finally a dish for the more nuanced palate, the truffle mushroom linguini. Fern handled the entire workload like a champ as his/her constant purr eventually became white noise in the bustling kitchen at Honeymoon Acres.
But Heather, Fern, and I can’t take all of the credit. With any great event, it comes down to the team who can pick up the slack when they’re called upon. Whether it was Heather’s sister, Mary, and her fiancé, J, rolling out pasta dough and making raviolis with a handy tool our family friend Dr. Amy gave us, or my brothers Matt, Tom, Kevin, and sister-in-law Morgan dusting cutting boards with flour and popping those raviolis into boiling water, everyone played a crucial part. I remember the first thing I saw after I got all dressed up in the back room was coming into the kitchen to see Matt wearing Heather’s apron with flour all over it. It made me so happy.
Serving Our Food To Our Wedding Guests:
Perhaps my favorite part of the wedding, though, was when Heather and I served the food to our guests before serving ourselves. We originally planned to only serve the first few plates, but we were having so much fun that we didn’t even want to take our seats. When we finally reached the end of the line, we walked through the barn into the dining room to a resounding applause. People were so grateful for the fresh food, but they were even more excited to share that they’d never been to a wedding where the bride and groom were the last people to be served. It didn’t even occur to us that the newlyweds are usually the first to eat because every time we hosted a dinner party at our Colorado home we’d always served our guests first. We didn’t think dinner at our wedding should be any different.
When Heather and I first started hosting dinner parties in our home in Colorado, we were amazed by how much fun it was. Perhaps it was me turning 30 and leaving the Jameson shots in Irish pubs for someone else (or some other time :)), but there was something about new and old friends brushing elbows around our table that meant something more to both of us. As we now settle into our interim Long Island home the reason became very apparent when a friend of ours came over for a few fingers of whiskey. It was the simple act of bringing people together, about creating community, about filling a space with jokes and laughter that provided us with happiness. I didn’t know at the time but that’s why I felt the way I felt when I saw Matt in Heather’s flour-dusted apron on our wedding day—it was him being part of our community.
There are few days when our communities come together with such a fervent energy to contribute to a cause, but our wedding days are such opportunities. We’ve seen families and friends fall flat and we’ve seen people band together and the result always lies within the glue or gluten that holds us together (Sorry, I couldn’t resist the pasta joke!). Here’s to everyone who played a part, including Dawn and Sandy who volunteered their time to bartend and make the rest of our food look pretty when it came time to serve those most important to us.
For those getting married, remember that the miscues of your wedding day will be forgotten in time, but the efforts of your communities will linger in your heart like the flavors of a delicious meal. Don’t be shy, be bold, and do that which defines you. With a little bit of luck and a lot of thought, your communities will have your back.
Your Immeasurable Friends,
Terrence & Heather
How To Make Homemade Pasta
This is one of our favorite foods to cook for guests (usually sub 100 people, but who knows!) because it is SO easy and who doesn’t love pasta? And fresh pasta is just the best! For real, once you have the homemade stuff, you’ll never go back to boxed again.
We love it so much that we have an entire recipe – perhaps our favorite one – in The Immeasurable Cookbook dedicated to the stuff. Which, *shameless plug* you should totally go out and buy now if you haven’t already.
Before we decided to take on all of the cooking for our own wedding, we used to make the dough by hand and use a super simple, cheap hand crank pasta maker. I hate having a ton of kitchen appliances because I think most of them are a waste of space and money, but this is one of the few that I can’t live without. Plus, there is something so great about getting your hands dirty in a mound of flour ;)
The Recipe:
Remember how we hate measurements?? Well, you guessed it, you won’t find any here either! But you don’t need them for pasta (trust me, you OCD kitchen people… you know who you are). If you really want to learn, unfortunately you’re going to have to come over to our house for us to teach you and then we’ll force you to stay and eat the deliciousness and drink tasty beer and whiskey. Ohhhh noooo ;)
Photo Credit: Derek Morf shooting for Apollo Fields