Terrence Huie 2/21/19 Terrence Huie 2/21/19

Non-Traditional Wedding Planning and Inspiration

DIY Wedding Ideas | Non-Traditional Wedding | Farm Wedding Photographers | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography | Ramsey, NJ

As wedding photojournalists we’ve had the privilege of documenting people on the best day of their lives. Surrounded by friends and family, our wedding couples celebrate their love with the traditions their families have taught them. But what happens if a couple doesn’t have any traditions? Or what if they do but they don’t have any connection to them? Please take these words as a license to create the wedding that best defines your relationship. Borrow from different traditions or create your own. There are no rules.

Heather and I chose to have our wedding at her aunt and uncle’s private farm in Ramsey, NJ, because: 1) they allowed us to, and 2) it was our closest connection to a meaningful tradition. The owners of Honeymoon Acres, Aunt Pam and Uncle Rick got married there in 1996 and we wanted to honor their union by following in their footsteps. Far from perfect, the farm is a haven for animals and family gatherings, treating four legged creatures with an equal-if-not-greater-hand than our relatives. There’s humility in recognizing the value of every animal on this earth and Pam and Rick never forget that and neither will we.

When you’re planning your wedding and getting caught up in the inevitable whirlwind of varying opinions remember this: you are the stewards of your own love. It is you and your significant other who are taking this expedition together — your brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, other relatives and friends can be safe places to stop along the way — but you two are the captains. It is you two who determine the course and to cede control of your wedding day is to allow others to briefly steer the ship. If you are okay with that, fine, but know that a ship with interim captains can wind up in uncharted waters. Please forgive the dramatic analogy but I cannot overemphasize the peace and fulfillment that comes with choosing the way you wish to celebrate your love.

Heather and I decided to celebrate ours by having our friend, David Miller, officiate our mala bead ceremony (see previous post). We took this route because of something that, ironically enough, a pastor said to us at a wedding: “it’s funny, I’m probably the person in this room who knows the least about the couple getting married, yet I’m the one speaking to their loved ones about their relationship.” It was all backwards for us, so picking a friend was a no-brainer. One of the other things that David did was pass our rings around to everyone in little nests, letting our guests cradle the symbols of our love in their trusted hands. We later tried to swap out the garter/bouquet toss for a stuffed animal toss to remind ourselves of our inner children — but just like children we somehow misplaced our stuffed animals. We ended the night with a Jewish tradition, the horah, because who doesn’t want to be lifted into the air to look upon the faces of your friends and family as they have the time of their lives?

Your wedding day can be many things. Why settle for traditions that are outdated and empty? Why not borrow the ones you like? Why not create something new? Why not take the opportunity to create a community that celebrates all the best things in your life. Your wedding doesn’t have to be lavish or expensive, all it has to be is you.

Photography: Alexis Cohen & Derek Morf for Apollo Fields

Farm Venue: Honeymoon Acres, Ramsey NJ

Terrence Huie 1/29/19 Terrence Huie 1/29/19

Our Wedding at Honeymoon Acres in Ramsey, NJ

Our Wedding | Heather and Terrence Huie | Honeymoon Acres, Ramsey NJ | Apollo Fields

Despite attending and photographing countless weddings, I never knew how I would feel on my wedding day. Would I get cold feet? Would I cry helplessly at the altar? Would my vows live up to what I hear in my heart? I really wasn’t sure, but now I can say that it was without question the best day of my life. Typically I avoid using superlatives and hyperbolic statements like “the best day of my life,” because I believe they don’t really tell you anything, but it was the best fucking day of my life. (I usually don’t use curses either, but I guess I’m breaking all my rules today.)

On Saturday, October 6th, 2018, a quintessentially grim and misty northeastern autumnal day, I wed Heather Erny in front of our closest friends and family at her aunt and uncle’s farm in Ramsey, NJ. Honeymoon Acres, as aunt Pam and uncle Rick like to call it, is a beautifully-manicured farm splashed with wild sunflowers and potted mums, a vintage 1950’s Ford with big round headlights and an entire family of farm animals. The amount of work that Pam, Rick, and both of our families and friends put in to wrangling all of the animals (roll call: 1 pig, 1 horse, 1 donkey, 2 goats, 1 cat, and 4 dogs), making all of the food, and assisting in the general logistics of the day will have me grateful for many years to come.

For those of you who don’t know, Heather and I decided to make and serve all of the food for our wedding day. Many called us crazy, as we only arrived in New York on October 1st from our road trip back from Colorado, leaving us five days to set the place up and prepare all the food—but with the help of our family and friends we did it. We made a fresh pasta bar consisting of truffle mushroom linguini, vegetable lasagna, pumpkin and butternut squash ravioli and a classic spaghetti and meat sauce. As we ladled and scooped generous portions to our guests donning our respective aprons, I couldn’t help but speak with an Italian-American accent to move the line along like I was running my own Long Island deli. We didn’t plan to serve everyone ourselves but we were having fun, so we did—to our relief nobody went hungry.

As dinner waned and the scotch shed opened, our wedding was now in full swing. The small potting shed that we converted into a whiskey tasting room exploded with laughter, warmth, and old stories. The dance floor in the garage-turned-banquet-room jumped beneath the Edison lights, uniting the older and the younger in a musically-induced exuberance. All around there were smiles, especially from the farm animals living their best lives as moonlight entertainers. Fairytales aren’t just for storybooks, anymore, I thought.

Then came the speeches. Justin and Grace spoke on mine and Heather’s behalf’s like they knew the most intimate thoughts inside our diaries. Great friends never fail to recognize the greatness in those closest to them, for they keep their company for those exact reasons. It’s only until we throw each other on stages with microphones that we realize how well our friends really know us. We should do it more often, for all of our sakes.

Perhaps the thing I was most excited about our wedding, with exception to swigging whiskey on the dance floor as “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” by George Thorogood played, was to announce the surprise Heather and I had for Pam and Rick. For twenty years, Pam and Rick have been going to Negril, Jamaica, in late winter, but for the past few years financial troubles have stymied their tradition. As a way to say thank you for hosting our wedding, Heather and I asked the Dj to play their wedding song from when they got married on Honeymoon Acres in 1996. When they tried to retreat to their seats after the song’s conclusion, we kept them out there and told them we’re all going to Jamaica in three weeks and the animals are already taken care of. They cried. We cried. Everyone cried.

On a day filled with so much love, I cherished every minute. Even when Heather and I stood at the “altar,” a bunch of red begonias that Rick planted in the shape of the heart, as a light rain fell upon our shoulders, I remained grateful. During our ceremony, our officiant, David “Killer” Miller, spoke with equal parts comedy and soul, the very reasons we chose him. On a day where the bride and groom are supposed to be celebrated, I’ve never felt more part of our communities.

Here’s to everyone who helped, whether giving the animals haircuts or drinking whiskey in the scotch shed, because without you, it wouldn’t of been the best fucking day of my life.

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