How To Run A Wedding Photography Business
Happiness in the Workplace: The Life of a Wedding Photographer
Apollo fields | Denver wedding photographer | New York wedding photographer | Wedding photos | Engagement photos | wedding writer
Most people don’t enjoy their jobs. Whether it’s the fluorescent lighting or the no windows casino approach to work environments, the tired early morning commute or the death by a thousand cliches like “happy wife, happy life,” working in the 21st century is at best and worst a dull sort of suffering. The intermittent good days make the job not quite bad enough to quit, and the benefits of a stable job outweigh childish millennial pursuits like happiness in the workplace. Lucky for us, we don’t have that problem.
Heather called me yesterday after her 4th wedding of the weekend (!!), and I could hear her smiling through the phone. She was beaming about being in the center of a 30-minute horah (Jewish wedding dance celebration) and reflecting upon how grateful she is to have an occupation that lands her in the middle of these powerful cultural traditions. Despite having no ties to any sort of religion ourselves, more often than not, we are educated on and included into these intimate spiritual circles rather than being forced to the perimeters and relegated to the role of outsiders. Take that “multicultural day” at the office!
This wedding season, Heather has already shot weddings in Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Colorado, soon to be Maine, and at the tail end of the season, Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Travel is part of our jobs and we’ve learned that there is love to be photographed everywhere! In the past, we’ve photographed weddings from the Dominican Republic to Quebec City, Canada, and we’re excited to the places our jobs will bring us in the future. Our ever-changing workspace keeps our eyes fresh and the hundreds of miles of open road keep our hearts for adventure well-fed.
That being said, the life of wedding photographers can be stressful and inconsistent. We don’t have work until we book it ourselves, making security and stability in our profession an autonomous responsibility of discipline and dedication. We don’t have windows in our office either, but that’s because the sun is on our shoulders; and we can’t hear cliches because we’re too busy dancing to the live band. Sure, it can be hard to keep the energy level high as the season wanes on, but every time it begins to fade there is a tear-jerking moment to bring us right back into the fold. I would trade the dynamic difficulties of our job for the static grinding of the human will that permeates office culture a hundred times over—because at the end of our workday—we’re growing towards love rather than withering towards retirement.
Non-Traditional Wedding Planning and Inspiration
DIY Wedding Ideas | Non-Traditional Wedding | Farm Wedding Photographers | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography | Ramsey, NJ
As wedding photojournalists we’ve had the privilege of documenting people on the best day of their lives. Surrounded by friends and family, our wedding couples celebrate their love with the traditions their families have taught them. But what happens if a couple doesn’t have any traditions? Or what if they do but they don’t have any connection to them? Please take these words as a license to create the wedding that best defines your relationship. Borrow from different traditions or create your own. There are no rules.
Heather and I chose to have our wedding at her aunt and uncle’s private farm in Ramsey, NJ, because: 1) they allowed us to, and 2) it was our closest connection to a meaningful tradition. The owners of Honeymoon Acres, Aunt Pam and Uncle Rick got married there in 1996 and we wanted to honor their union by following in their footsteps. Far from perfect, the farm is a haven for animals and family gatherings, treating four legged creatures with an equal-if-not-greater-hand than our relatives. There’s humility in recognizing the value of every animal on this earth and Pam and Rick never forget that and neither will we.
When you’re planning your wedding and getting caught up in the inevitable whirlwind of varying opinions remember this: you are the stewards of your own love. It is you and your significant other who are taking this expedition together — your brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, other relatives and friends can be safe places to stop along the way — but you two are the captains. It is you two who determine the course and to cede control of your wedding day is to allow others to briefly steer the ship. If you are okay with that, fine, but know that a ship with interim captains can wind up in uncharted waters. Please forgive the dramatic analogy but I cannot overemphasize the peace and fulfillment that comes with choosing the way you wish to celebrate your love.
Heather and I decided to celebrate ours by having our friend, David Miller, officiate our mala bead ceremony (see previous post). We took this route because of something that, ironically enough, a pastor said to us at a wedding: “it’s funny, I’m probably the person in this room who knows the least about the couple getting married, yet I’m the one speaking to their loved ones about their relationship.” It was all backwards for us, so picking a friend was a no-brainer. One of the other things that David did was pass our rings around to everyone in little nests, letting our guests cradle the symbols of our love in their trusted hands. We later tried to swap out the garter/bouquet toss for a stuffed animal toss to remind ourselves of our inner children — but just like children we somehow misplaced our stuffed animals. We ended the night with a Jewish tradition, the horah, because who doesn’t want to be lifted into the air to look upon the faces of your friends and family as they have the time of their lives?
Your wedding day can be many things. Why settle for traditions that are outdated and empty? Why not borrow the ones you like? Why not create something new? Why not take the opportunity to create a community that celebrates all the best things in your life. Your wedding doesn’t have to be lavish or expensive, all it has to be is you.
Photography: Alexis Cohen & Derek Morf for Apollo Fields
Farm Venue: Honeymoon Acres, Ramsey NJ
Our Mala Bead Ceremony: A Non-Traditional Wedding Idea
Mala Bead Ceremony | Rehearsal Dinner Ideas | Non-Traditional Wedding Idea | Apollo Fields | Yoga Weddings
PSA to all couples who are getting married and looking for non-traditional wedding ideas: do a Mala Bead Ceremony! Originally a suggestion from a close hippie friend of ours (we love you, C!), we decided to do it for our wedding and everyone loved it! It was a heartfelt, engaging experience that was perfect for our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.
We first decided to do a Mala bead ceremony because neither of us were raised with any religious beliefs and we wanted to find traditions that resonated with us. The basic idea is this: ask your closest friends and family to obtain beads of any make, whether natural stone, wood, decorative, or otherwise. Then ask them to charge each of their beads with their intentions for your marriage and write them down. When everyone is together the night before the wedding, have each person present their beads and written intentions to you, describing why they chose those beads. Now, one-by-one string them onto your Mala bead necklace, beginning with a guru bead of your own.
The Guru Bead
The guru or anchor bead acts as the center of the necklace just as you will stand at the center of your family and friends during your wedding ceremony. In total, a traditional mala bead necklace contains 108 beads (not including the guru bead). After everyone has shared their beads and intentions, tie off the necklace. This personalized piece of jewelry is now ready for you to give to your officiant to wear during the ceremony.
Heather and I had no idea how our family and friends would respond to the ceremony, but their participation far exceeded our expectations. Our families aren’t particularly open with emotional conversations but somehow the subtlety and genuine nature of the mala bead ceremony created a comfortable space for them to share their feelings (so much feels, so much safe space). Some spoke with tongue-in-cheek comedy, while others stumbled through words that are usually left unspoken, but they all spoke.
They all shared their thoughts on love and what they think makes a good relationship. Unexpectedly insightful and heartfelt, I’d never felt closer to everyone in attendance. It was like one of those icebreaker team-building activities but with more on the line and less bullshit. I can’t recommend the ceremony enough.
Incorporating the Mala into our Ceremony
The day of the wedding we gave the necklace to our officiant, David “Killer” Miller, and he explained the significance of it to our guests while it gently hung around his neck. He also passed our wedding rings around in little nests for everyone to see, feel, and put their thoughts upon. Heather and I really wanted our wedding ceremony to be as interactive as possible because we feel most ceremonies are too exclusive rather than inclusive of those in attendance.
After all, why would you invite all these people to your wedding if you didn’t want them to participate in one way or another. We are the communities we are part of and I’ve never felt more in place than when I looked around at the faces in ours. Let this message be a reminder that your wedding day is whatever you want it to be, even if, especially if, it includes some random hippie ceremony.
The Intentions That Everyone Charged Our Beads With:
May you be LOVE (blood stone)
May you be LIGHT (amazonite)
May you be TRUTH (smoky quartz)
May you be COMPASSION (jasper)
Live today like there is no tomorrow.
Trust yourself to do the right thing!
Be truthful and honest in all that you do!
Have faith in yourself because you’re a good person and can solve anything that you encounter.
May you appreciate and encourage one another.
May you realize every moment is a gift.
May you have an open heart and therefore, an open mind.
To cherish your creativity and originality. It is hard to get it back (unicorn bead)
To live healthy and balanced. Everything in moderation (heart bead)
To be resilient at all times. Like a dragon (dragon bead)
To continue adventuring, thriving, and having a good time (flower bead)
The football shaped bead is pretty and reminds me of Heather
The barrel shape: Keep laughter in your lives. “A barrel of laughs”
Round cherry: From a necklace Heather made me. I wish you many happy days in your future
Yellow bead: Mom, Nana, and Pop all have this same bead to represent the strength in family
Stay classy
Be kind before being nice
Rosary Bead: May the breeze blow new strength into your beings
White Rosary Bead: May the moon softly restore you both by night
Brown flower bead: Was picked by me in a bead ceremony to represent RESILIENCE
Red squiggle bead: Keep traditions + make new traditions. It’s a Christmas bead. Believe in order to receive.
Strength: Although the nuts are individuals, they are strongest when they come home and are joined by the bolt.
Longevity: The darker nuts are from my fathers tool box. He understood partnership. M & D celebrated 66 years together last year.
Happiness: It has many components – Humor, Honesty, Humility
Growth: You are just starting your journey. You may need a bigger bolt as you grow more nuts!
Red beads from a necklace Heather made me. Makes me think of a ruby, represents my love for you both.
Teal bead: From a necklace Gram gave me. My intentions to keep the Girls Club alive forever.
Yellow bead: Dad, Nan, and Pop have this same bead to represent the strength in family.
Oval Silver: From a bracelet Heather made me. Silver represents sophisticated and modern, riches and wealth. May you have it all.
Black bead: Keep negative energy out of your life.
Yellow bead: To show strength in family.
Lead barrel: Like a bullet with gunpowder, continue to chase your dreams.
Black and white: Remember there are many other colors in the world.
For Nature
For Passion
For Play
Take time to listen with the mind and the heart
May you have patience with each other through the hard moments.
I will ALWAYS remember that I am strong and have the support of my extended family (we love you guys)
I will not do hard to others and accept the moment for what it is.
I will not end my day on an angry note; I have much to be grateful for.
I will have the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I took this from Nana’s necklace. Like Nana, always find goodness in all people (Turquoise and Silver)
Pop, your father, and mom have the yellow bead to represent the strength in family.
This was from a necklace Heather made Nana. Hold the memories of both Gram and Nana (Teal)
Keep a transparent window of your future (Glass Bead)
What ever your wishes are!
Go forward.
My mom’s love of family.
Honeymoon Acres.
For memories.
For love.
To hold space for love even if it is small.
For a long, happy, ever-growing bond that gets stronger with time.
For you to find the joy even when you have to look for it.
For you to keep your uniqueness as individuals and as a couple.
May you have kind words, a loving heart, and good intentions.
May you take time every day to sit and quietly listen.
May you live in a constant state of amazement.
May you march to the beat of your own drum.
Winter – Teamwork. It takes two to build a snowman (snowman bead)
Spring – Pace, don’t rush through life like a speedy bunny. Slow down, enjoy the moments (bunny bead)
Summer – Freshness, a happy and fulfilling relationship (strawberry)
Fall – Harvest, enjoying the benefits of a long commitment (yellow tube)
Jade Tear: Jade is for luck and fortune.
The Bull: Bulls are strong. Willed with stronger personalities. Be mindful to see the bull in yourself and moo-ve on :)
The Frog: Frogs, while seemingly adaptable, are in reality quite fragile. Remember to nurture your relationships so it doesn’t dry out and be willing to shed your skin and try new things.
Flower on a White Background: This was the first bead I chose. It reminded me of traditional European embroidery motifs, which makes me think of our families as they have moved across this world, allowing for so many things, like you two getting to meet. Flowers make me think of spring and regrowth. The blank background is for possibility. I hope only the best in your new family, and everything that will come from it.
Venue: Honeymoon Acres, Private Farm | Ramsey NJ
Officiant: David Miller
HMUA: Jennifer Belle // Sandra Wittner
Photography: Alexis Cohen shooting for Apollo Fields