Dedragging: Mykel's Come As You Are Session

De-Dragging Portrait Session | Drag Queen Photography | Come As You Are Boudoir | Apollo Fields NYC Portraits

Dedragging: Mykel's Come As You Are Session

She has one rule, well actually She has a full list of rules because She is a boss like that, but the most important one is: “Never take off any drag until you are home and the door is closed. Serve the full fantasy and commit to the gag.”

The night is over and in the car back I am itching to regain control of my normal body functions. Since leaving the house six hours ago, all I've been thinking about is taking off the drag that has deprived me of these basic needs. My feet have lost all feeling in the spiked heel death traps I have fastened to them. I go to take them off and give myself the beginning feelings of freedom from the martyrdom that is drag, but She reminds me, “Bitch, you’ll be fine. No one wants to see a flat-footed drag queen hobbling into her building. Buck up buttercup, we’re almost home.”

After an awkward farewell from my Uber driver, who is clearly going to spend the rest of the night compartmentalizing his sexual desire for She, I grow more and more excited to de drag with every brittle step I take. I am so close to freedom I could cry. The elevator is empty. No one can see me. I go to peel off the wig and free my head from the giant band of torture elastic. “No, no, no, No. What if the sexy neighbor is in the hall? I’m not going to be a bald headed bitch.” She scolds.

The terrifying bounce of the old elevator arriving on my floor reminds me sharply that I’ve had to pee since leaving the house. Being that my penis is taped up my own ass, I have to just forget about all bathroom requirements entirely. On two dead feet and a piercingly full bladder, I full on run/wobble from the elevator down the hall, looking like a drunk freshly birthed giraffe. I unbutton her dress and let it fall to the ground, while savagely ripping off her thumb and index finger nails with my teeth.

“What are you...?” Ignoring her completely I dump out the contents of her purse, and squat like a monkey to frantically get the keys. Out of the corner of my eye I see that hot neighbor coming out of his apartment. “I fucking told you! Oh my God! Get inside right now!” I unlock the door and lunge into the entry hall while incomprehensibly stammering ‘great to see you, have a good night’.

Immediately I’m dodging my dog Tux, who has undoubtedly been sitting in the same spot since I left, plotting his triumphant fanfare of love and adoration upon my return. I leap over him and make it to the bathroom just in time to peel down five layers of Capezio tights, releasing my foam butt pads like coiled snakes in a can.

The downright emotional release that comes from ripping off the duct tape and allowing my penis to emerge into an oxygen filled environment is life changing to say the least. Also the terrifying sight of it slowly accordioning out from the cave of my pelvis is something directly from a sci-fi horror movie. “There ya go buddy! Sweet release.” She says with kindness and understanding.

There I am, suddenly a man in a beautiful wig and makeup, tights rolled down to my calves, a nude lace bra, adorned in diamonds and jewels, and fully bedazzled plastic nails on. There is nothing more powerful than straddling a toilet and peeing in six inch heels. I catch a glimpse of me, her, us in the mirror and can’t help but feel proud. “ I love being gay.”

I waddle into my bedroom while avoiding the land mines of toys, ropes, and balls lovingly set out by my dog. I pry off my heels and try to set my feet flat on the ground, but anyone who has spent any significant amount of time in heels knows that your feet are going to be frozen in place like Barbie’s plastic arches for the next few hours. “Also, good luck with your lower back pain for the rest of the week darling. You’re fucked.” She’s right. I’m fucked.

Whoever invented underwire should be burned at the stake. “For. Real. Though. Henny.” She says while taking the first deep breath of the night. The alarmingly red indent around my torso after taking off her bra is a mere battle scar. I wear it with begrudging pride. Now comes the most painful part of de-dragging, taking off the nails. There is no kind way to tear off your own cuticles. You have to find your numb happy place and just bite those claws off and spit them victoriously across the room. “Oh shit, look out, he’s butch all of a sudden.”

I stand back from the mirror, and take a good last look while blood and oxygen begin to freely flow through my body again. Even though I’m a naked man standing there, I still see the woman I made looking back at me. It’s strange to say the words “woman I made”, because in reality She is shaping me. She gives me the power to see society see me, and I am strengthened every time She takes over. She is softer in her inflections and gestures, yet She requires more physical and emotional strength that I just don’t have when I’m a man. She’s a brave boss.

We stare at each other for minute. The corner of her lip smirks, and the sassy sultry sound of her voice says, “Bitch, you look stunning.” We grab the wig, and for a moment the world is in slow motion. She gives me a final wink, and I snatch it off my head. She’s gone for now. She was fabulous tonight.

Talent: Mykel Vaughn
Photography: Apollo Fields
Location: The Denizen Co.

Celebrate Yourself With our 'Come As You Are' Sessions!!!

Pre-bridal Boudoir Photoshoots have been popular for a long time. They surely make a great gift for your fiancé but it is just about that? I feel there is so much more to these photographs. They are a celebration of YOU. They are about embracing your form and figure and feeling confident in your own skin. They are about loving yourself and being simply you, being the way you are.

The Idea Behind “Come as you are” Sessions

When I began shooting weddings, naturally I began getting inquiries from my brides about boudoir sessions. I figured I could do it and said yes. Back then, I offered something that resembled a much more traditional approach. Something about the whole experience of the woman showing up at a hotel room with a bunch of lingerie, all nervous, drinking champagne, and doing these pics "for" their fiancé didn't sit right with me.

So I set out to change the script. I made it much more about form and figure and less about looking sexy for someone else. The sessions became a celebration of the person in front of me, exactly as they were, not trying to look like Victoria’s Secret model. Hence the name— “Come as you are” emerged in my mind for these sessions.

Eventually, I started hopping in front of the camera and posing myself to make my brides comfortable. I really learned to shed the awkwardness that we've been programmed to feel when it comes to nudity. I think my being comfortable in that way really helped my clients feel at ease when they got in front of the camera.

Reasons to Book “Come as You are” Sessions With Apollo Fields

I will give you five reasons here why you should consider a pre-wedding ‘Come as You Are’ session with us.

1. Empowerment

It might be a vulnerable thing to do but it’s empowering! Booking a session that is all about you is a really special gift for yourself that you’ll love decades later.

2. Confidence

This can be your way of building the confidence that you’ve been wanting to. This can be your opportunity to get bold. It can be a liberating experience for you that you might cherish forever.

P.S. I love watching people go from feeling timid in the beginning to being completely at home in their bodies.

3. Celebration of ‘YOU’

We all have insecurities. Those dissatisfactions can get the better of us when we start to obsess over them. Our ‘Come as You Are’ session can be just the thing to remind you that you are beautiful just as you are.

Above all, it can be a great way to celebrate yourself. To embrace your inner and outer beauty.

4. Amazing Solo Portraits

We all deserve to have individual portraits and not just stuff with significant others and family. By saying this, I don’t mean that you shouldn’t celebrate with family or it’s bad to be photographed with them but then you can have at least ONE solo session. You will love this, we promise!

5. ‘Me’ Time

You might have been planning your wedding tirelessly and need some time to yourself. So you can book this session and relax. Put on some make-up or flaunt a no make-up look. Feel comfortable in your own skin and take time to absorb all your emotions. We will capture the beauty that you are and you’ll get stunning photos of yourself soon thereafter.

You can take a look at our work on Instagram and our Facebook page. If you have any questions, contact me on 201.669.0149 or drop an email at heather@apollofields.com or Book us straightaway. 

Boudoir Photography vs. Come As You Are Sessions

Come As You Are Sessions | Redefining Traditional “Boudoir” Sessions Into An Empowering Experience | Apollo Fields

“Come As You Are” vs. “Boudoir Sessions”

I’ve never felt right about calling my work “boudoir” but I have found myself using that term in the past because it is more relatable to people.  So I dug deep to find out not only what “boudoir” is being defined as, but then redefining what it is that I actually offer. 

A quick google search informed me that a boudoir session is “a photography session where you wear sexy outfits, lingerie, dresses, or even go scantily clad and get your photographs taken” (weddinglovely.com).  

Nope, nope, just no.  That is simply not what I do or what I offer.  

Everything I was reading online encouraged clients to do boudoir sessions because they are “a great gift for your fiance” or because they are “the perfect excuse to go shopping for lingerie” or because “you can get your hair and makeup done”.  

Again, that’s a big no for me.  

I believe that these sessions should be for you, as a way to honor your whole being exactly as you are in that moment.  No apologies, no excuses, no “I need to wait a few months to get in shape / lose the weight / get a summer tan / buy new clothes / whatever it is that is holding you back”. 

These sessions are about figure and form. 

They are about holding space for yourself. 

They are a journey.  They are powerful. They have the ability to be transformative and introspective and wild and expressive and beautiful and uncomfortable and awakening.  

They are about you coming exactly as you are.  

What is my role? 

My role is to support you in that experience and capture your entire being in photographs.  We’re going to heighten your awareness together, and then we are going to turn that into beautiful, epic, storytelling artwork.  

You will learn something about yourself in both the session as well as the images.  

For me personally, I am most inspired by individuals who come to me with an open mind and an open heart, who might be nervous for the session but instead of dulling those feelings with champagne and self deprecating jokes, are able to voice their emotions and begin the journey of trust in making these images all about you in the present moment.  

I will ask you to set your intentions and do some breath work.  We’re going to flow through your energy instead of freezing into awkward poses.  It is here where the nerves begin to lift, and this is the experience you will remember when you revisit these images over the years. 

If I’ve done my job correctly, these photographs will bring you back to the sensations you were feeling at that time in your life.  Maybe you were feeling excited about your upcoming wedding-- I want you to really feel it.  Maybe you were about to turn 40 and wanted to honor your body during that milestone.  Maybe you had just given birth and you were finding your way home again in your body.  Really feel it.  

Just got a new tattoo?  Recovering from surgery?  Ran your first marathon? Lost a family member?  Lost your job? Landed your dream job? Going through a divorce?  Celebrating your marriage? Celebrating one year sober? Coming out as gay?  Got your yoga teacher certification?  

Whatever it is, it is reason enough for one of these sessions.  In fact, just being alive right now is reason enough. There is some passion or struggle or fire or light in you that will make beautiful photos.  We’ll find it together-- just come as you are.  

XO,
Heather

“Do it! I did it as a gift for my husband, but what I got out of it was the best gift I could have given myself. Let yourself laugh at yourself when you remember how nervous you were, but then how great you felt after! Trust yourself, trust your body, trust Heather.”

— Erren

FAQs:

What Should I Wear?

Whatever empowers you. Whatever makes you feel the most you.  As much or as little as you want. Want to wear lingerie? Do it because you feel beautiful in it, not because society has told you that this makes you sexy.  If you feel the most sexy in your power suit with your hair slicked back, do it. Wear a fucking snow suit for all I care, just do it with intention. 

I spent years drawing, painting, and photographing nude models for fine art classes and this is one of the most comfortable places for me to work as an artist.  I love nudity, but you don’t have to. For me, a naked body is sacred and beautiful, not inherently sexual. Whatever shape, size, color, wrinkle, stretch mark, hair, or feature you have, I’ve pretty much seen it all, and feel very at-ease around nakedness.  Again, it’s all up to you.  

What if these photos are a gift for my partner?

Great!  I say heck yes to this, but they should be a gift for you first.  I believe that your body belongs only to you, and whom you choose to share it with is sacred.  These sessions are no different. 

Do I need to get my hair and makeup done?

This is a very personal decision and I support both options.  Some people feel very empowered by getting their hair and makeup done for photos.  From a totally biased standpoint, I personally love when skin is done by a professional because they know how to really nail it for pictures, which makes a big difference even if you want a natural look.  These sessions don’t automatically imply that you have to have big curls, fake lashes, and red lipstick. We’re going to leave society’s definition of attractive at the door because ain’t nobody got time for that.  If you feel weird with your makeup done, then come barefaced. It’s ALL good.  

How much retouching is done?

Good light goes A LONG way and trust me, I love the good light.  This will do the majority of the heavy lifting in conjunction with the magic that I’m doing in the camera.  My post-production work consists of fine tuning your images-- straightening, adjusting, color correcting, etc…  I’m not a plastic surgeon though, and don’t ask me to “make you skinnier” in the pics. It ain’t happenin’, sister.  This goes against all of the empowerment work we’re doing together in the session, and I also believe that it does a huge disservice to society to nip-and-tuck photos.  And if nobody has told you this lately: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are. No bullshit.  

What about privacy of images?

You control it all.  Want them all private?  Cool, no problems. Love your pictures and want to share them with others?  Great. Want to choose the specific images that you’re comfortable sharing? Also great.  Changed your mind before / during / after the session? All good in the hood.  

How do the photographs make you feel when you look at them now?

“They bring me back to that day!

I am able to breathe in the summer air, feel the wind blow my hair, hear Heather’s camera click but not hear it at all.

I feel proud of myself”.

---

Come As You Are Questionnaire:

Dance Photographers in NYC Photoshoot Ideas

Katy Copeland | Your Body Should Be Your Greatest Lover | Passion Projects | Portraits of Women | Dancers | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography | Long Island, NY

Guest blog by Katy Copeland
Photography by Apollo Fields

My body and I used to have a tumultuous relationship. I would judge her and put her down and bully her for not being “correct” and pump her with drugs and alcohol to numb the insecurities and pain. Dancers develop some pretty severe psychoses. You bend and twist and starve and gorge and try to fit molds that are impossible and distorted and therefore wind up living in constant battles of not feeling worthy. At least, this was my experience. My body and I went to war. I disrespected her, treated her like shit, beat her down and was completely shocked that she wasn’t responding with my backwards and materialistic idea of beauty. 

I met Heather during this time. About 5 years ago at a very delicate time when I self-proclaimed myself a feminist and was still wildly threatened by strong, powerful women . Cool… Having recently shaved my head for a performance gig, small parts of me felt liberated, larger parts unsuccessfully were hiding an immense amount of fear and self loathing. I became jealous of her instantly. Heather is confident without boasting. She is beautiful with zero effort. She is smart but not a know-it-all. She exudes grace with no judgement and she is vulgar yet still tasteful. How is that possible? My inner dialogue: “Fuck. I hate her. I want to be her.” It was madening. 

Never did I imagine she would lift me up in times I needed most. Very quickly Heather became my family, my kindred spirit, a precious gem who wiped my tears, held me when I started to crumble, and taught me the true meaning of female friendship. She profoundly changed the way I viewed other women, but more importantly how I viewed myself for the better. Secretly, for better or worse (mostly for worse) I would always compare us. “Us” being all women. Over time, I stopped competing and started cultivating true love with all the women I am lucky enough to know. Heather is a pioneer and champion in my story and I am forever grateful.

So when I read recently that Heather was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy with severe complications my heart shattered. My body ached for her. It was rare that I ever saw her in pain and I felt it in my bones. The female body is magical with incredible vulnerability. Therefore, when our bodies take on trauma we instantly become stronger and grow three sizes compassion, depth and complexity. Our bodies are smarter and more resilient than ever and I am just starting to figure that out.

We set a fresh pasta dinner date (for she is the queen of homemade pasta) after she was post-op and comfortably back home in Long Island. A few days before, we agreed to snap some body shots of me while I was in town. Heather asked for my vision and without hesitation I told her that I was craving photos that are raw, bare, stripped down, unabashed and unapologetic. Like most, admittedly or not, I am constantly struggling to find my authentic self. Battling my bullshit ego and trying to halt myself when I start catering to what others want to see versus what I want to be. After the experience she just had I knew if anyone could help me find authenticity and mind-body connection it would be her.   We would find it in each other.

This galley is what we created. By no means am I healed, or rehabilitated. But I am growing. I am learning. I am connecting deeper every day. My body and I are beginning a new journey. And the little voices inside my head are slowly becoming less of a bully and much more of a best friend. When my inner saboteur starts poking or prodding, I kindly and respectfully ask her to shut the fuck up. I am judging less and loving more and I trust my body will always know what to do. I just have to listen.

“Your body should be your greatest lover
for she is all you have. 
It wasn’t until I started loving her unconditionally 
that she began to respond.” —I wrote that.

They are my favorite two sentences I have ever written. That is the idea I wanted to capture with these photos, and girl… Heather did it in spades.

Senior Photos in Colorado Springs

Alec’s Senior Photos in CO Springs | Colorado Senior Photography | Apollo Fields

Even though I specialize in weddings, I’ll occasionally take on other types of shoots (seniors, families, maternity, etc) by referrals and whenever I do, I’m so glad to have stepped outside of my specialty and have a chance to play around a bit artistically! Senior sessions are a lot of fun for me because I can remember being a senior in high school and it feeling like such a transitory time in terms of your own identity.

I remember senior year feeling like I was living dual identities. On one hand, I was the big man on campus. I had seniority, which in my boarding school life meant a lot. On the other hand, I was about to go into an unknown and unforgiving adult world with a lot of questions that hadn’t yet been answered. I had applied to a bunch of schools that I wasn’t passionate about, and even though I was accepted into their programs, I had no passion for anything besides art and riding horses.

I decided to pursue riding full time and table college for a semester. All of my friends were off to their freshman years and I deferred all of my acceptances to take some really prestigious riding opportunities. I ended up being the best decision for me in the long run and I wouldn’t change it, but looking back, I didn’t have a firm grip on my identity in my senior year. I never got senior portraits done and honestly, I wish I had. That year for me — even though I didn’t feel anchored — propelled me in a lot of ways and I wish I had pictures to remind me of that time.

I had a great time working with Alec for his senior portraits. He reminded me of myself in my senior year in the sense that he obviously had a lot of drive and willpower. He had applied to all Ivies, including ED for Yale University which he had recently been accepted to. On top of his awesome grades and SAT scores, he is avid clarinetist for his school as well as playing for his school’s varsity lacrosse team. I was able to see how the support from his parents and community was helping drive him in the right directions and it was an honor to be able to photograph this important time in his life.

To set up a senior session, contact Heather today!

Photography: Apollo Fields