Dedragging: Mykel's Come As You Are Session

De-Dragging Portrait Session | Drag Queen Photography | Come As You Are Boudoir | Apollo Fields NYC Portraits

Dedragging: Mykel's Come As You Are Session

She has one rule, well actually She has a full list of rules because She is a boss like that, but the most important one is: “Never take off any drag until you are home and the door is closed. Serve the full fantasy and commit to the gag.”

The night is over and in the car back I am itching to regain control of my normal body functions. Since leaving the house six hours ago, all I've been thinking about is taking off the drag that has deprived me of these basic needs. My feet have lost all feeling in the spiked heel death traps I have fastened to them. I go to take them off and give myself the beginning feelings of freedom from the martyrdom that is drag, but She reminds me, “Bitch, you’ll be fine. No one wants to see a flat-footed drag queen hobbling into her building. Buck up buttercup, we’re almost home.”

After an awkward farewell from my Uber driver, who is clearly going to spend the rest of the night compartmentalizing his sexual desire for She, I grow more and more excited to de drag with every brittle step I take. I am so close to freedom I could cry. The elevator is empty. No one can see me. I go to peel off the wig and free my head from the giant band of torture elastic. “No, no, no, No. What if the sexy neighbor is in the hall? I’m not going to be a bald headed bitch.” She scolds.

The terrifying bounce of the old elevator arriving on my floor reminds me sharply that I’ve had to pee since leaving the house. Being that my penis is taped up my own ass, I have to just forget about all bathroom requirements entirely. On two dead feet and a piercingly full bladder, I full on run/wobble from the elevator down the hall, looking like a drunk freshly birthed giraffe. I unbutton her dress and let it fall to the ground, while savagely ripping off her thumb and index finger nails with my teeth.

“What are you...?” Ignoring her completely I dump out the contents of her purse, and squat like a monkey to frantically get the keys. Out of the corner of my eye I see that hot neighbor coming out of his apartment. “I fucking told you! Oh my God! Get inside right now!” I unlock the door and lunge into the entry hall while incomprehensibly stammering ‘great to see you, have a good night’.

Immediately I’m dodging my dog Tux, who has undoubtedly been sitting in the same spot since I left, plotting his triumphant fanfare of love and adoration upon my return. I leap over him and make it to the bathroom just in time to peel down five layers of Capezio tights, releasing my foam butt pads like coiled snakes in a can.

The downright emotional release that comes from ripping off the duct tape and allowing my penis to emerge into an oxygen filled environment is life changing to say the least. Also the terrifying sight of it slowly accordioning out from the cave of my pelvis is something directly from a sci-fi horror movie. “There ya go buddy! Sweet release.” She says with kindness and understanding.

There I am, suddenly a man in a beautiful wig and makeup, tights rolled down to my calves, a nude lace bra, adorned in diamonds and jewels, and fully bedazzled plastic nails on. There is nothing more powerful than straddling a toilet and peeing in six inch heels. I catch a glimpse of me, her, us in the mirror and can’t help but feel proud. “ I love being gay.”

I waddle into my bedroom while avoiding the land mines of toys, ropes, and balls lovingly set out by my dog. I pry off my heels and try to set my feet flat on the ground, but anyone who has spent any significant amount of time in heels knows that your feet are going to be frozen in place like Barbie’s plastic arches for the next few hours. “Also, good luck with your lower back pain for the rest of the week darling. You’re fucked.” She’s right. I’m fucked.

Whoever invented underwire should be burned at the stake. “For. Real. Though. Henny.” She says while taking the first deep breath of the night. The alarmingly red indent around my torso after taking off her bra is a mere battle scar. I wear it with begrudging pride. Now comes the most painful part of de-dragging, taking off the nails. There is no kind way to tear off your own cuticles. You have to find your numb happy place and just bite those claws off and spit them victoriously across the room. “Oh shit, look out, he’s butch all of a sudden.”

I stand back from the mirror, and take a good last look while blood and oxygen begin to freely flow through my body again. Even though I’m a naked man standing there, I still see the woman I made looking back at me. It’s strange to say the words “woman I made”, because in reality She is shaping me. She gives me the power to see society see me, and I am strengthened every time She takes over. She is softer in her inflections and gestures, yet She requires more physical and emotional strength that I just don’t have when I’m a man. She’s a brave boss.

We stare at each other for minute. The corner of her lip smirks, and the sassy sultry sound of her voice says, “Bitch, you look stunning.” We grab the wig, and for a moment the world is in slow motion. She gives me a final wink, and I snatch it off my head. She’s gone for now. She was fabulous tonight.

Talent: Mykel Vaughn
Photography: Apollo Fields
Location: The Denizen Co.

Celebrate Yourself With our 'Come As You Are' Sessions!!!

Pre-bridal Boudoir Photoshoots have been popular for a long time. They surely make a great gift for your fiancé but it is just about that? I feel there is so much more to these photographs. They are a celebration of YOU. They are about embracing your form and figure and feeling confident in your own skin. They are about loving yourself and being simply you, being the way you are.

The Idea Behind “Come as you are” Sessions

When I began shooting weddings, naturally I began getting inquiries from my brides about boudoir sessions. I figured I could do it and said yes. Back then, I offered something that resembled a much more traditional approach. Something about the whole experience of the woman showing up at a hotel room with a bunch of lingerie, all nervous, drinking champagne, and doing these pics "for" their fiancé didn't sit right with me.

So I set out to change the script. I made it much more about form and figure and less about looking sexy for someone else. The sessions became a celebration of the person in front of me, exactly as they were, not trying to look like Victoria’s Secret model. Hence the name— “Come as you are” emerged in my mind for these sessions.

Eventually, I started hopping in front of the camera and posing myself to make my brides comfortable. I really learned to shed the awkwardness that we've been programmed to feel when it comes to nudity. I think my being comfortable in that way really helped my clients feel at ease when they got in front of the camera.

Reasons to Book “Come as You are” Sessions With Apollo Fields

I will give you five reasons here why you should consider a pre-wedding ‘Come as You Are’ session with us.

1. Empowerment

It might be a vulnerable thing to do but it’s empowering! Booking a session that is all about you is a really special gift for yourself that you’ll love decades later.

2. Confidence

This can be your way of building the confidence that you’ve been wanting to. This can be your opportunity to get bold. It can be a liberating experience for you that you might cherish forever.

P.S. I love watching people go from feeling timid in the beginning to being completely at home in their bodies.

3. Celebration of ‘YOU’

We all have insecurities. Those dissatisfactions can get the better of us when we start to obsess over them. Our ‘Come as You Are’ session can be just the thing to remind you that you are beautiful just as you are.

Above all, it can be a great way to celebrate yourself. To embrace your inner and outer beauty.

4. Amazing Solo Portraits

We all deserve to have individual portraits and not just stuff with significant others and family. By saying this, I don’t mean that you shouldn’t celebrate with family or it’s bad to be photographed with them but then you can have at least ONE solo session. You will love this, we promise!

5. ‘Me’ Time

You might have been planning your wedding tirelessly and need some time to yourself. So you can book this session and relax. Put on some make-up or flaunt a no make-up look. Feel comfortable in your own skin and take time to absorb all your emotions. We will capture the beauty that you are and you’ll get stunning photos of yourself soon thereafter.

You can take a look at our work on Instagram and our Facebook page. If you have any questions, contact me on 201.669.0149 or drop an email at heather@apollofields.com or Book us straightaway. 

The Home Stretch– Reflections on These Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy

The Home Stretch– Reflections on These Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy | Third Trimester Pregnant Blog | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography

The Home Stretch

I didn’t realize what a mindf*** being 37+ weeks pregnant would be… 

It’s kind of like this:  I wake up in the morning and think to myself, ‘I could have a baby today’.  I also think to myself, ‘It also could be another 4 or 5 weeks before we have this baby’.  For someone who prefers structure and control, that’s a lot of variability.  

On the other hand, I do feel grateful to technically have made it to “term” at all, considering that at 32 weeks we had a very legitimate scare when my body started showing signs of potential preterm labor and we had our first taste of things-could-go-wrong this pregnancy.  Luckily, after a solid step back from working full-throttle and some much needed TLC, literally all of those physical symptoms reversed themselves (bodies are crazy).  

So I am–pregnant AF– and waffling between still loving it and being over the whole thing.  I had a good run of feeling pretty invincible and healthier than I have ever been, but this home stretch is REAL.  By the time the sun goes down, which unfortunately is super early these days, I’m getting pretty crippled.  My lower back tightens up, the baby begins assaulting my organs, occasionally getting a foot hooked under a rib, and no amount of cat-cows seem to do the trick anymore. 

If I drop something and I can’t pick it up with my toes, it stays there.  I now use the old lady bar to get my ass out of the bathtub.  No-shave-November applied for most of my body.  December doesn’t seem to be an exception.  I have like four pieces of clothing that still fit me and two of them belong to my husband.  In a nutshell, I’m not cute.  But then I step back and also realize that this is probably the most beautiful I’ll ever be.  I told you it’s a mindf***.   

Terrence is good at grounding me even through the most sophisticated mind/body tricks that I can play on myself.  “None of this was a guarantee” has become a bit of a mantra in our house, and that’s a pretty sobering reality, even for someone who has been sober for the last nine months.  He’s right though, it was only two years ago that we were in the midst of the ectopic pregnancy and having all-too-real conversations with our doctors about how complicated it might be to have a future healthy pregnancy.  

When I ruptured two Decembers ago, I didn’t just lose the baby but I also lost one of my tubes and a lot of blood.  I gained a mess of scar tissue and was left with a lot of “time will tell” answers.  We couldn’t have known it at the time, but I would end up getting pregnant again from the tubeless side (remember when I said bodies are crazy!?) which is crazy.  My dominant ovary is my right one, and miraculously my left tube was able to haul over to the other side, scoop up an egg, and drop it off in the right place.  Mind blowing, right??

Now, here we are, in the thick of this mess that is 2020, and also in one of the most beautiful seasons of our lives.  The days are slower than they have been in a long time, and while I busybody myself with organizing our drawers and turning our freezer into a soup kitchen, we have also been able to spend guilt-free evenings tucked up on the couch together just savoring the fact that we’re in this space together.  

Sometimes timing is perfect and tonight my dear friend Lindsey just sent me an article on this time of “Zwichen”, the in-between dimension of existence that is late pregnancy.  Putting a name to this transition period is surprisingly helpful, and quells a lot of the questioning about whether other women feel the same push-pull of living within two worlds at once.  

Everything feels like a contradiction and I’m learning to be okay with that.  Falling asleep last night, I was staring at the mound that is my belly thinking how foreign my body looks and feels, and yet being more at home in myself than I ever have.  How does that make sense?  “Pay attention to that feeling”, Lindsey told me, assuring me of the role this feeling plays in labor.  

There’s a heaviness and a lightness to these days.  A sense of anticipation and peace at the same time.  Wanting to work and be still run our biz like a boss but also wanting to nest and be home and hunkered down.  Trusting in the journey but also wondering WTF is going to happen.  So much that feels contradictory but necessary.  It is hard to label what this transitory time truly feels like, so I’ll just still to “Zwichen” and leave the rest to the cosmos.  

Photography: Mostly cell pics with a few gems by Lindsey Eden &. Lauren Wright

Here's to 30 and Quite Possibly The Best Days of My Life

30th Birthday Reflections | Third Trimester Pregnancy Blog | Long Island Wedding Photographers | Apollo Fields Photography

Here's to 30 and Quite Possibly The Best Days of My Life

I remember waking up on the morning of Terrence’s 30th birthday in a cabin we had rented on top of a mountain in Colorado.  He had woken up before me, and I went downstairs to find him sitting in a bay window, writing and drinking coffee.  He wrote a blog appropriately titled, “Turning 30– Am I Where I Expected Myself To Be?” and now that I am turning 30, I find myself asking the same question.  

Of course, my 30th birthday looks a little different than Terrence’s did a few years ago.  We celebrated his birthday by venturing out into the mountains, spending the day with a few friends, going to some breweries, and then driving up to a trailhead in the middle of the night to hike to our cabin.  We were guided by nothing more than our cell phone flashlights and good morale, but having the time of our lives. 

When I look back on pictures from then, I can’t help but think that we look like such babies.  We were engaged and planning our own wedding, living in Colorado, still figuring out each other’s place in Apollo Fields, and so full of adventure.  We could have never predicted how the next few years would turn out:  the ups and downs of moving back East, getting married, going through an ectopic pregnancy, traveling the country for weddings, running a small business during a pandemic, and eventually getting pregnant again.  

But here we are – in a totally different season of life – and yet just as happy and optimistic as ever.  We don’t look at things with the same carefree lens as we might have a few years ago, but we’re not jaded either.  We have a little babe who will be here in just a few weeks, and even as I sit here typing this out on my couch I can’t help but think that each squirmy little kick is a surreal reminder that shit’s about to get real real.  

So, as Terrence hashed out on his birthday, “am I where I expected myself to be” turning 30?  Literally speaking, probably not; but figuratively speaking I think I am.  I don’t think I would have imagined myself in a suburban Long Island home per se, but just about everything else adds up.  I love that we are able to sustain ourselves with a business built on creativity and authentic connection, and the fact that I am able to do it with my husband is beyond fulfilling.  

I feel a sense of pride for our marriage, for it is built on the pillars of open and honest communication but also contains a massive amount of silliness and zest for life.  I love our animals and the quirky little adventures that we all take and I can’t wait to bring this little baby into the mix.  

I will admit that I love this age for the gift to curate our circle of truest friends.  There is something freeing about understanding who is an acquaintance and who is a lifelong friend, and to not carry any guilt around that distinction is a wonderful part of adulthood that just doesn’t seem to exist in your early 20s.  

My relationship to family has evolved as well.  Of course, building a family of your own will put you on the fast track to developing that understanding, but I think this chapter of life has also been so conducive to realizing the role that family can play in your life if you nurture it.  Quarantine has brought a lot of us closer, especially Terrence’s siblings (all six of them!), and I feel especially grateful to have been able to bond more with both sides of our families during this year.  

I think many of us experienced a collective sense of both connection and loneliness during this pandemic, and as I look ahead to the winter and what postpartum life might resemble, I anticipate a lot of those same emotions coming up.  I’m not sure what the next few weeks, months, or years will look like, but I am looking forward to them.  

I think turning 30 can bring on a crisis of ‘I haven’t done enough with my life so far’ for a lot of people, and while my default is normally to shortchange my own accomplishments, I think I’ll shift that mode of thinking into feeling a sense of calm-- not for the things I have necessarily worked for or earned, but for the gifts of stability and connection that I have from the people around me.  

Cheers,
Heather

Photography: Cait McCarthy Photo

Fire Island Lighthouse Engagement Photography

Fire Island Engagement Lighthouse Photography in Long Island NY | Apollo Fields Wedding Photographers | Robert Moses Beach Photos | Engagement Session Outfit Ideas

Stephanie & John

After a few days of debating “should we reschedule?” versus “should we hold out?” for this engagement session when an ominous rainy forecast loomed over the day, I had a gut feeling to hold out and I am SO glad that we did! For some reason, I just had an inkling that the weather and light would break, and luckily it did in the best way. I don’t always get this inclination (for example, today was supposed to be a shoot day for me and I ended up rescheduling because I didn’t get the feeling that the weather and light would break— and as I type this, I’m so glad because it’s just one of those East Coast *bleh* days that’s kind of crappy and gray).

I knew right away with Stephanie & John that we were about to have some fun— they brought a few fun outfits, lots of energy, and a little champagne. The perfect trio in my opinion! We got to explore the Fire Island Lighthouse together and follow the sunset back towards the ocean. It is always a bit windier down by the beach, and this day was no exception, but we all just laughed through the gusts of wind and these guys braved the elements like champs!

I loved the fun, flirty, and playful vibes that Stephanie and John had and it just made me so happy to watch them embrace the evening together. The lighthouse is one of my favorite places to shoot because it gives such a variation of architecture and scenery— you can get awesome boardwalk shots with fun vantage points, beach shots, and the beautiful lighthouse all in one easy spot.

My absolute favorite part of the night was towards the end when Stephanie and John were running around by the water together. The light was closing in on us fast and the waves were pretty wild from the storm the night before. Of course, the photographer and artist in me was dying to get them in the waves but there was no way I could have asked them to do that in their clothes, but just then they got that twinkle in their eyes and suggested in first. Yes, yes, YES!!! They grabbed each other’s hands and just ran into the waves and made my creative dreams come true!

We wrapped the night and began to drive away when someone called attention to the Harvest Moon that had begun to rise. I’m so glad they did because we hopped back out, with Stephanie and John both cold and soaked and wrapped up in a blanket, and got a few quick moon shots with the epic autumn Harvest Moon! I’m so excited to share this sweet engagement session and feel so lucky to have been apart of their story!

Enjoy these pics from Stephanie & John’s beach engagement session:

Photography: Apollo Fields

"Where The Wild Things Are" Cake Smash Ideas

Miles' First Birthday Cake Smash in Northport, NY | “Where The Wild Things Are” Themed Birthdays | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography

Half Baked: Twenty Week Bumpdate

Half Baked: Twenty Week Bumpdate | Apollo Fields Wedding Photographers

I have never been the kind of girl to try on a bunch of outfits before going out.  In fact, I have always prided myself on not being that kind of girl.  Now at twenty weeks pregnant, I am most definitely that girl. 

On goes a shirt, off goes a shirt, on goes a dress, dress comes off, grab a tank top, hold it up in front of my chest, yeah that’s a no-go, throw it all on the floor in a pile.  Then I’ll stand in front of the mirror half naked wondering how it is possible to barely recognize the person looking back at me.  I will freeze in that frustration for a little while, then reach back into my closet for another shirt.  

Rinse and repeat.  

I can go way down the rabbit hole in this cycle of trying to make my tried-and-true pre-pregnancy clothes look the way they used to, but it is usually futile and ends up with me shoving them in my crawl space that I’ve now designated as the burial ground for clothes that I probably won’t see for another year or so.  Another one bites the dust, then I slam the door shut.  

I’ll reach for one of the hand-me-down maternity outfits I’ve been given and try to come to terms with that outfit.  Leopard print.  Wow.  I don’t think I’ve ever worn leopard print in my entire life… am I about to wear leopard print today?  Try it on-- yikes-- I am definitely not a leopard print girl.  Throw that in the pile too.  

So there I am, still half naked, still standing in a pile of fallen soldiers (I glance down at my favorite gray J.Crew shirt-- you were a good friend), and that god forsaken mirror reminds me that yes, my belly button just keeps getting weirder looking.  “When did you get so fucking vain?” I think to myself, almost out loud.  

I was deep in the struggle this morning when my husband walked upstairs and found me practically hiding in the closet like a dog on the Fourth of July.  I was wearing nothing more than my underwear, a bralette, and my frustration and he just says, “You’re having a moment, aren’t you?”

Yep.  Definitely having a moment and it didn’t take too long before I tried explaining how nothing fits and my whole body feels foreign and I am gaining weight in the one place that society has told me to never gain weight and someone jokingly called me ‘fatso’ yesterday but why didn’t that feel like a joke but also everyone tells me my bump is cute but maybe I should hide the bump better so people stop telling me to take it easy and not move a chair but more importantly my body is healthy and I feel great and why can’t I just be grateful that I’m healthily pregnant how many women would kill for this but I am grateful so why don’t I feel sexy??

Woof, dude.  That run-on sentence was basically the word-vomit that came tumbling out of my mouth before I started crying.  Or maybe I just cried my way through the whole thing but it didn’t take long before realizing that very little of this actually had to do with the way I looked or how I actually felt. 

The truth is, I feel great.  In many ways, I feel better than I did before we got pregnant.  I have tons of energy, I eat like a monk, I’m active, I’m working, my skin has never looked better, I feel strong and I feel healthy.  So what’s the problem?  

The problem, as it turns out (and I shouldn’t be surprised because it is my dark shadow), is actually centered around control and power.  I am afraid that by looking pregnant, people will assume that I either won’t be as good at my job or that I shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.  Think this sounds like an outdated problem?  Think again.  I was literally reprimanded by an older Indian man at a wedding last week for shooting when I should be home resting.  “Where is your husband?”  he asked me,  “Your husband should be taking the pictures instead.  You should have an assistant”, he insisted.  

My blood was boiling.  Not only was I perfectly capable of working that job, but I was there to crush that gig, which I did.  I plan on crushing gigs as long as I can, having this baby, and then getting back to crushing gigs.  It is just what I do and who I am and that doesn’t automatically make me selfish or any less-mother.  

So now I’m all revved up and high on my feminism but holy ego it’s time to check all that because Terrence reminds me that I am going to get a lot more pregnant and our priorities are going to have to shift eventually.  A sobering thought for someone who derives as much of their sense of self from their ability to get-shit-done-for-themselves, but alas, he’s right.  Things will change and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  I have to realize that maybe I can’t wear my favorite gray J.Crew shirt for a while, but I don’t have to walk out of the house in leopard print, either.  

People love to comment on women’s bodies.  They especially love to comment on pregnant women’s bodies.  This probably isn’t going to stop in the next few months, so it is up to me to learn how to navigate this new chapter.  Unpacking my own skinny privilege and the pang of the scale every time I see the numbers climb is all valid and real, but the actual work for me comes up when I am told by a colleague, “Oh, I just assumed you wouldn’t be working now so I haven’t been sending you any leads”.  That one that actually stung, and was maybe the reason I wanted to hide my bump in the first place.  

Our identity is huge, and as women we forfeit a lot of that during pregnancy (and subsequently motherhood).  It is not all bad:  Personally, I have taken better care of myself both mentally and physically because for the first time in my life, it’s not just for me.  Pushing myself to my absolute limits is no longer a badge of honor but can have very real negative effects on a baby, so I have had to find a long overdue new normal for myself.  But I am still working-- I’m still shooting and I’m loving it and I really do plan on doing it as long as I can.  Yes, things are shifting but at the end of the day I am still me, except now I try on clothes about forty times before leaving the house.  

– Heather

Backyard COVID Elopement in Long Island

Roy and Randi's Backyard Elopement in Long Island | Intimate Wedding Photography | 2020 Weddings During Quarantine | Apollo Fields Eloping Photographers

Many couples are obviously having to postpone their big wedding celebrations this year due to the effects of coronavirus and subsequent travel bans. While this might mean obviously having to wait to have hundreds of people on a dance floor all hugging, drinking, and partying together, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you cannot still get legally married and celebrate safely with your closest friends and family.

I have been so inspired by the resiliency of couples who are taking all of the current events in stride and prioritizing the health and wellness of their guests by moving their receptions to a later date but still focusing on the importance of honoring their marriages. One popular option has been backyard and otherwise private elopements where social distancing and staying outdoors are easy options. By taking the worry and stress off of health concerns, you’ll be able to focus more on celebrating one another and staying in the moment.

Roy and Randi were able to have a sweet backyard wedding with their closest family and friends in a very laid back and stress-free way. They each have children and even some grandchildren in the mix, so it was obviously imperative that they were able to be present, in addition to their matriarch of their family. We were able to use their landscaped yard for nice family formals, and even took advantage of their koi pond and waterfall out back.

The ceremony was sweet and intimate, with a chuppah even impromptu fashioned out of the garden terrace that they have on their fencing. The chuppah is one of my favorite elements of Jewish wedding ceremonies because it symbolizes the home with the four pillars, but intentionally keeping the sides open so visitors know that they are welcome. Roy and Randi made theirs out of Randi’s family tallit, which was another special touch. They were still able to exchange vows, rings, and break the glass even though a lot of the other wedding formalities had to be postponed.

After the wedding ceremony, we did a champagne toast outside and Roy surprised his newlywed wife with a brand new Audi— her dream car (black on black) that she has always wanted! Such a sweet touch to always remember the day by.

Photography: Apollo Fields

Boudoir Photography vs. Come As You Are Sessions

Come As You Are Sessions | Redefining Traditional “Boudoir” Sessions Into An Empowering Experience | Apollo Fields

“Come As You Are” vs. “Boudoir Sessions”

I’ve never felt right about calling my work “boudoir” but I have found myself using that term in the past because it is more relatable to people.  So I dug deep to find out not only what “boudoir” is being defined as, but then redefining what it is that I actually offer. 

A quick google search informed me that a boudoir session is “a photography session where you wear sexy outfits, lingerie, dresses, or even go scantily clad and get your photographs taken” (weddinglovely.com).  

Nope, nope, just no.  That is simply not what I do or what I offer.  

Everything I was reading online encouraged clients to do boudoir sessions because they are “a great gift for your fiance” or because they are “the perfect excuse to go shopping for lingerie” or because “you can get your hair and makeup done”.  

Again, that’s a big no for me.  

I believe that these sessions should be for you, as a way to honor your whole being exactly as you are in that moment.  No apologies, no excuses, no “I need to wait a few months to get in shape / lose the weight / get a summer tan / buy new clothes / whatever it is that is holding you back”. 

These sessions are about figure and form. 

They are about holding space for yourself. 

They are a journey.  They are powerful. They have the ability to be transformative and introspective and wild and expressive and beautiful and uncomfortable and awakening.  

They are about you coming exactly as you are.  

What is my role? 

My role is to support you in that experience and capture your entire being in photographs.  We’re going to heighten your awareness together, and then we are going to turn that into beautiful, epic, storytelling artwork.  

You will learn something about yourself in both the session as well as the images.  

For me personally, I am most inspired by individuals who come to me with an open mind and an open heart, who might be nervous for the session but instead of dulling those feelings with champagne and self deprecating jokes, are able to voice their emotions and begin the journey of trust in making these images all about you in the present moment.  

I will ask you to set your intentions and do some breath work.  We’re going to flow through your energy instead of freezing into awkward poses.  It is here where the nerves begin to lift, and this is the experience you will remember when you revisit these images over the years. 

If I’ve done my job correctly, these photographs will bring you back to the sensations you were feeling at that time in your life.  Maybe you were feeling excited about your upcoming wedding-- I want you to really feel it.  Maybe you were about to turn 40 and wanted to honor your body during that milestone.  Maybe you had just given birth and you were finding your way home again in your body.  Really feel it.  

Just got a new tattoo?  Recovering from surgery?  Ran your first marathon? Lost a family member?  Lost your job? Landed your dream job? Going through a divorce?  Celebrating your marriage? Celebrating one year sober? Coming out as gay?  Got your yoga teacher certification?  

Whatever it is, it is reason enough for one of these sessions.  In fact, just being alive right now is reason enough. There is some passion or struggle or fire or light in you that will make beautiful photos.  We’ll find it together-- just come as you are.  

XO,
Heather

“Do it! I did it as a gift for my husband, but what I got out of it was the best gift I could have given myself. Let yourself laugh at yourself when you remember how nervous you were, but then how great you felt after! Trust yourself, trust your body, trust Heather.”

— Erren

FAQs:

What Should I Wear?

Whatever empowers you. Whatever makes you feel the most you.  As much or as little as you want. Want to wear lingerie? Do it because you feel beautiful in it, not because society has told you that this makes you sexy.  If you feel the most sexy in your power suit with your hair slicked back, do it. Wear a fucking snow suit for all I care, just do it with intention. 

I spent years drawing, painting, and photographing nude models for fine art classes and this is one of the most comfortable places for me to work as an artist.  I love nudity, but you don’t have to. For me, a naked body is sacred and beautiful, not inherently sexual. Whatever shape, size, color, wrinkle, stretch mark, hair, or feature you have, I’ve pretty much seen it all, and feel very at-ease around nakedness.  Again, it’s all up to you.  

What if these photos are a gift for my partner?

Great!  I say heck yes to this, but they should be a gift for you first.  I believe that your body belongs only to you, and whom you choose to share it with is sacred.  These sessions are no different. 

Do I need to get my hair and makeup done?

This is a very personal decision and I support both options.  Some people feel very empowered by getting their hair and makeup done for photos.  From a totally biased standpoint, I personally love when skin is done by a professional because they know how to really nail it for pictures, which makes a big difference even if you want a natural look.  These sessions don’t automatically imply that you have to have big curls, fake lashes, and red lipstick. We’re going to leave society’s definition of attractive at the door because ain’t nobody got time for that.  If you feel weird with your makeup done, then come barefaced. It’s ALL good.  

How much retouching is done?

Good light goes A LONG way and trust me, I love the good light.  This will do the majority of the heavy lifting in conjunction with the magic that I’m doing in the camera.  My post-production work consists of fine tuning your images-- straightening, adjusting, color correcting, etc…  I’m not a plastic surgeon though, and don’t ask me to “make you skinnier” in the pics. It ain’t happenin’, sister.  This goes against all of the empowerment work we’re doing together in the session, and I also believe that it does a huge disservice to society to nip-and-tuck photos.  And if nobody has told you this lately: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are. No bullshit.  

What about privacy of images?

You control it all.  Want them all private?  Cool, no problems. Love your pictures and want to share them with others?  Great. Want to choose the specific images that you’re comfortable sharing? Also great.  Changed your mind before / during / after the session? All good in the hood.  

How do the photographs make you feel when you look at them now?

“They bring me back to that day!

I am able to breathe in the summer air, feel the wind blow my hair, hear Heather’s camera click but not hear it at all.

I feel proud of myself”.

---

Come As You Are Questionnaire:

How To Run A Wedding Photography Business

Happiness in the Workplace: The Life of a Wedding Photographer

Apollo fields | Denver wedding photographer | New York wedding photographer | Wedding photos | Engagement photos | wedding writer

Most people don’t enjoy their jobs.  Whether it’s the fluorescent lighting or the no windows casino approach to work environments, the tired early morning commute or the death by a thousand cliches like “happy wife, happy life,” working in the 21st century is at best and worst a dull sort of suffering.  The intermittent good days make the job not quite bad enough to quit, and the benefits of a stable job outweigh childish millennial pursuits like happiness in the workplace.  Lucky for us, we don’t have that problem.

Heather called me yesterday after her 4th wedding of the weekend (!!), and I could hear her smiling through the phone.  She was beaming about being in the center of a 30-minute horah (Jewish wedding dance celebration) and reflecting upon how grateful she is to have an occupation that lands her in the middle of these powerful cultural traditions.  Despite having no ties to any sort of religion ourselves, more often than not, we are educated on and included into these intimate spiritual circles rather than being forced to the perimeters and relegated to the role of outsiders.  Take that “multicultural day” at the office!

This wedding season, Heather has already shot weddings in Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Colorado, soon to be Maine, and at the tail end of the season, Cape Cod, Massachusetts.  Travel is part of our jobs and we’ve learned that there is love to be photographed everywhere! In the past, we’ve photographed weddings from the Dominican Republic to Quebec City, Canada, and we’re excited to the places our jobs will bring us in the future.  Our ever-changing workspace keeps our eyes fresh and the hundreds of miles of open road keep our hearts for adventure well-fed.

That being said, the life of wedding photographers can be stressful and inconsistent.  We don’t have work until we book it ourselves, making security and stability in our profession an autonomous responsibility of discipline and dedication.  We don’t have windows in our office either, but that’s because the sun is on our shoulders; and we can’t hear cliches because we’re too busy dancing to the live band.  Sure, it can be hard to keep the energy level high as the season wanes on, but every time it begins to fade there is a tear-jerking moment to bring us right back into the fold.  I would trade the dynamic difficulties of our job for the static grinding of the human will that permeates office culture a hundred times over—because at the end of our workday—we’re growing towards love rather than withering towards retirement.

Dance Photographers in NYC Photoshoot Ideas

Katy Copeland | Your Body Should Be Your Greatest Lover | Passion Projects | Portraits of Women | Dancers | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography | Long Island, NY

Guest blog by Katy Copeland
Photography by Apollo Fields

My body and I used to have a tumultuous relationship. I would judge her and put her down and bully her for not being “correct” and pump her with drugs and alcohol to numb the insecurities and pain. Dancers develop some pretty severe psychoses. You bend and twist and starve and gorge and try to fit molds that are impossible and distorted and therefore wind up living in constant battles of not feeling worthy. At least, this was my experience. My body and I went to war. I disrespected her, treated her like shit, beat her down and was completely shocked that she wasn’t responding with my backwards and materialistic idea of beauty. 

I met Heather during this time. About 5 years ago at a very delicate time when I self-proclaimed myself a feminist and was still wildly threatened by strong, powerful women . Cool… Having recently shaved my head for a performance gig, small parts of me felt liberated, larger parts unsuccessfully were hiding an immense amount of fear and self loathing. I became jealous of her instantly. Heather is confident without boasting. She is beautiful with zero effort. She is smart but not a know-it-all. She exudes grace with no judgement and she is vulgar yet still tasteful. How is that possible? My inner dialogue: “Fuck. I hate her. I want to be her.” It was madening. 

Never did I imagine she would lift me up in times I needed most. Very quickly Heather became my family, my kindred spirit, a precious gem who wiped my tears, held me when I started to crumble, and taught me the true meaning of female friendship. She profoundly changed the way I viewed other women, but more importantly how I viewed myself for the better. Secretly, for better or worse (mostly for worse) I would always compare us. “Us” being all women. Over time, I stopped competing and started cultivating true love with all the women I am lucky enough to know. Heather is a pioneer and champion in my story and I am forever grateful.

So when I read recently that Heather was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy with severe complications my heart shattered. My body ached for her. It was rare that I ever saw her in pain and I felt it in my bones. The female body is magical with incredible vulnerability. Therefore, when our bodies take on trauma we instantly become stronger and grow three sizes compassion, depth and complexity. Our bodies are smarter and more resilient than ever and I am just starting to figure that out.

We set a fresh pasta dinner date (for she is the queen of homemade pasta) after she was post-op and comfortably back home in Long Island. A few days before, we agreed to snap some body shots of me while I was in town. Heather asked for my vision and without hesitation I told her that I was craving photos that are raw, bare, stripped down, unabashed and unapologetic. Like most, admittedly or not, I am constantly struggling to find my authentic self. Battling my bullshit ego and trying to halt myself when I start catering to what others want to see versus what I want to be. After the experience she just had I knew if anyone could help me find authenticity and mind-body connection it would be her.   We would find it in each other.

This galley is what we created. By no means am I healed, or rehabilitated. But I am growing. I am learning. I am connecting deeper every day. My body and I are beginning a new journey. And the little voices inside my head are slowly becoming less of a bully and much more of a best friend. When my inner saboteur starts poking or prodding, I kindly and respectfully ask her to shut the fuck up. I am judging less and loving more and I trust my body will always know what to do. I just have to listen.

“Your body should be your greatest lover
for she is all you have. 
It wasn’t until I started loving her unconditionally 
that she began to respond.” —I wrote that.

They are my favorite two sentences I have ever written. That is the idea I wanted to capture with these photos, and girl… Heather did it in spades.

Family Photographer in Northport, NY

Sweet & Sassy | Leila’s Portraits at Crab Meadow Beach | Northport, NY | Long Island Photographer | Apollo Fields Wedding Photography

I just never get sick of photographing this cutie! I have been doing her pics since before she was born, and ever since then. I’ve done Nikki and Leila'’s maternity, fresh 48, 6mo, 1yr, and so on every chance I get! Even though we specialize in weddings, I love taking on the occasional family and kiddo. Leila is such a bright light, a sassy and sweet little girl who I just adore.

It was cold and windy at Crab Meadow Beach, but the light cloud coverage was great for photos. Leila only had about five minutes threshold for the chilliness (I couldn’t blame her, I wouldn’t have wanted to pull my jacket off either) so it was up to us to get as much of her personality out in just a few minutes). Leave it to this little girl though, because she gave us the whole spectrum — her curiosity, playfulness, quick witted little personality just beamed.

My favorite was when I was trying to keep her attention and get her engaged, and I said, “Leila can you give us a smile” and she just goes, “RAWR! I’m a monster!” Hahahaa she gave us the biggest smile right after doing a playful monster and then threw her hand on her hip and posed her pants off. What a ham!

Leila’s mom, Nicole, is a dietician and works at Memorial Sloan Kettering as well as managing her own brand, Worksite Wellness. She just published her own cookbook, The Truly Healthy Pescatarian and we were lucky enough to snag our own copy when she came out for the session! We love chatting about all healthy eating and nutrition and of course, doing anything with Leila!

Photography: Apollo Fields
Location: Crab Meadow Beach, Northport NY

Clean & Classic: The Importance of Timeless Wedding Photos

Hey guys!  Heather here...

It's a balmy -2 degrees F here in Denver, so I'm calling it a snow day and have gone ahead and rescheduled all of my clients (trust me, it's no fun being outside in this weather).  

Snow days used to be highly anticipated events, huddled up in bed watching the flakes falling from the window, listening to the radio station with your fingers crossed, toes crossed, pajamas inside out, and any other superstition that you thought might help the chances of your school being announced on the list of cancellations.  

But now, twenty years later, I don't get that same luxury.  Being a business owner means that you have to be the one to make those calls, and it's not always as easy as just wanting to stay in your sweats all day drinking hot chocolate and watching movies.  

Clean & Classic

It seems that the wedding photography world has been dichotomized into two categories and photographers are pressured to define themselves as either "dark & moody" or "light & airy".  

Now, don't get me wrong... I personally love both of these styles.  I frequently find myself scrolling through the work of some of these masters envious of their well-crafted brand.  As for myself, I know how-to and can shoot "dark & moody" as well as "bright & airy" while still properly exposing for my subjects.  Sometimes it is fun to play around and push my own artistic boundaries, it keeps my eye fresh and it a fun challenge.  

But I think there is a risk involved in subscribing to trendy editing techniques and why I shy away from them: they will one day be out-of-style.  I would hate for someone to look back at photos I shot of someone's wedding and go, "eek, that's so 2018".  

Let's all take a moment to remember when super-desaturated photos were in, or the all black-and-white except one color splash was considered artsy; circa early 2000's.  Or a real life example:  My parents got married in the '80s and let's just say their wedding photos are "so 1980's".  Sepia-washed prints and shoulder pads.  Oh my god, so many shoulder pads.  

This is why if I had to categorize myself, I will confidently say "clean & classic".  I want you to look back at your wedding photos and love them ten years, twenty years, and fifty years from now.  I don't want your kids laughing at them.  I mean, they can laugh a little, because that's what kids do, but it should stop there.  I want to give you timeless photos that withstand the test of trends, fads, and increasingly savvy technology.  

Here's a fun one: we have such a great time with our grooms and want to give them the attention they deserve. This photo captures our groom at a very flattering angle, but shows off his personality – fun and easygoing – to give it some uniqueness.

Another classic photo that I love. My couple is so happy in this moment and the photography stays really true to the season, their decor, and the overall mood of the day. Even though it is posed, it doesn't feel forced. I love when something feels candid even if it's not.

I love this photo because it has beautiful soft and warm light. There is still a lot of emotion, and yet in some ways it is also a classic bridal portrait. As an artist, I want to keep my viewer's eye on the image which is exactly what you get here.

It’s okay to not perfectly fit into either the “Bright and Airy” or “Dark and Moody” Categories

I love when I am building out my albums and I feel like I can re-live the entire day.  Depending on the season, weather, venue, dress, florals, and other design and natural factors, there will be some variation in my photographs... and I think that's a good thing!  I don't want my couple's to ever feel like they are just being plopped into posing placeholders, trying to replicate some picture they found on Instagram.  I want uniqueness and storytelling, without compromising correct exposure and composition.  

I think the mark of a true artist is to have your work become distinctive enough that the viewer no longer needs a signature or a watermark to know who created it.  For me, I prefer not to categorize my work into somebody else's style.  I would say "clean & classic" if I had to label my work, but in some ways that feels boring.  Even the word "timeless" can begin to stale.  My photos aren't stale or boring, and I am constantly searching for new ways to craft my art into true storytelling and bold narration.  That is my pledge as an artist to all of my clients and viewers alike.

Photography By:

Apollo Fields & Melissa Hirsch

Central Park Engagement Session in New York City

NEW YORK CITY ENGAGEMENT PHOTOGRAPHY | CENTRAL PARK PHOTOGRAPHER | DESTINATION WEDDINGS ERNY PHOTO CO

Before moving to Colorado, New York City was my home. It still holds a piece of my heart, with so many wonderful memories there, including meeting my awesome boyfriend. As much as I love Colorado, I miss it from time to time.  So I was really excited to head back to my old stomping grounds and photograph Morgan and Matt's Central Park engagement session in NYC!

Their entire session was really relaxed and upbeat. It felt more like hanging out than a photo session! We all laughed as we explored Central Park together. Morgan and Matt were also really playful throughout their session, which was so awesome. I love how they were able to just kick back and be themselves. It allowed me to really get into my groove and take some amazing photos. 

About Morgan and Matt

These two have it all. They are smart, outdoorsy and they can cook. They're kind of the perfect couple. They also enjoy hiking, which happens to be what they were doing when they got engaged, and they also have two adorable cats. 

I cannot wait for their upstate New York wedding next summer at Handsome Hallow! 

Morgan and Matt's Central Park Engagement Session in New York City

Heather Huie of Apollo Fields is a New York Based Wedding Photographer who loves to travel. If you're planning a Central Park or New York City wedding, she'd love to chat with you! Reach out by using her contact form!