Oliver Lin Stephens Huie

November 15, 2022 Terrence Huie

“We give birth the way that we live.”

-Our midwife, Michele, East End Midwifery Services

For us—that means having a plan. That means a checklist, a Gcal invite, probably a meeting, and a few back-and-forths. That means gathering a support team, establishing contingencies, idea visualization and manifestation. Focus on intention. What do you want? Then it’s onto logistics and their eventual execution. When it all goes well it feels like the stars are aligning—but when they don’t—we never get swallowed in the darkness.

The Last Total Lunar Eclipse of 2022

For months, the full-moon total lunar eclipse on November 8th, 2022, has been on our calendar. It was a hopeful hypothesis that Oliver would be born in the early morning before the sun followed the blood moon. This is when the tides would be at their strongest and Heather’s due date was only four days later. Well, on November 7th, I woke up to the low hum of Heather moaning, eyes closed, with her head and neck arched back on a pillow. She didn’t even have to say it out loud—I knew she was already in labor.

Doula to the Rescue

A few days before Heather went into labor, our dear friend and local doula, Nancy, informed us that she took a spill down a flight of stairs and sustained a series of injuries including a concussion. A two-hour commute to our house was probably not advisable. Coincidentally, the very next day, our friend Lindsey who lives in Colorado reached out and said that she was interested in flying out and offering her birth photography and doula services if we needed it.
Lindsey’s flight arrived at La Guardia at noon on November 7th.

“A Certain Nocturnal Visitor”

Before Heather went into labor with Capa she said that she was not going to have him during the day. Maybe it’s because sunlight reminds her of work and she can’t work when she’s having a baby, or maybe she’s a vampire. Either way, he was born at night. So after I picked up Lindsey for Oliver’s birth and we told Michele that Heather was in labor, we knew that there wasn’t much urgency given the duration of her contractions and how far apart they were. No matter what we’d be waiting for nightfall.

Active Labor with a midwife

Around 5:30 pm, with Lindsey, Michele, and her assistant, Noelle, in place I could really sink into my support role. I patiently waited all day for Heather to invite me into her space. It started with a hand; to hold, clench, and steer towards pressure points. It evolved to a rebozo and gentle massaging. Then for the next few hours Heather and I would remain close, our bodies and arms wrapped around each other as we hummed and moaned. She eventually told me to stop moaning along. I listened.

Transition

Heather climbed into the tub around 10:30-11pm. I remember thinking that Oliver might arrive before the day is over. Heather requested that we put on Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers by Kendrick Lamar and I was amazed that she was still fully tuned in and communicative, swaying her body to the beats in the warm water. At this point during Capa’s birth she had already gone inward to manage the pain. After the first song or two, she invited me closer, pulling my head next to hers, and we closed our eyes and moved together. I remember smiling.

Capa

We put Capa down hours earlier around his normal bedtime. We all cuddled in our king-sized bed as he drifted away to the sounds of his favorite movie, Sing 2. He woke up periodically throughout the night and I would take leave to get him back down. The last time he woke up was around 2 am, when Michele came to the stairs to call me back down. “Heather wants you here, you can bring Capa.” And so for the next 20 minutes Capa and I looked at Heather as she beared down.
Nothing makes you feel smaller than watching a woman give birth. All sense of machismo, bravado, and hubris melts away into admiration—into witnessing what true strength looks like.

A Round of Applause and Fist Bumps

Immediately after Heather gave birth to Oliver, Capa began to clap. Like literally. He then went up to give Oliver a fist bump, followed by the whole support team, one at a time. What a guy.

The Plan

From the outside in, we got lucky with our 2nd successful home birth. We somehow avoided all of the many pitfalls of labor and delivery. But that’s not the way we see it. We see the plan: the meetings, the support team, the contingencies. We see how we put ourselves in a position to succeed by making decisions by following our collective minds and hearts.

We saw how all the stars began to align so we put our jackets on and took a good look at that giant, copper-colored full-moon.

So at 2:33 am on November 8th, 2022, when Oliver Lin Stephens Huie came into this world, it was not because we were lucky.

It was because we aligned our own stars and created our own constellation.

We gave birth the way we live.