Wedding at Danfords in Port Jefferson
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Luz & Britt
Driving through New York City, blasting a classic from Jay-Z or Biggie will always be one of my favorite things to do. I’m not sure if it’s because it makes me feel cool, or that it puts me in an aggressive-yet-somehow-zen-like-state of hyper awareness—but I will 100% be teaching Capa the right songs to play. On this particular drive, “Gimme the Loot” by Biggie was playing as I dropped Heather off in front of the Essex House on a sunny day on Central Park South.
We first met Luz and Britt in a meeting over Zoom in 2020 and were completely enamored by their chemistry and thoughtfulness. They are both scholars by profession and at heart, and we had a refreshingly in-depth conversation about the current state of affairs before moving on to the details of their wedding. By getting married at the Church of Notre Dame in Morningside Heights, Luz and Britt were able to celebrate personal and family-held values while at the same time creating space from archaic traditions.
In a year where the personal feels more political than it ever was, Luz and Britt made sure to leave their stamp on the celebration of their marriage. Whether that was something simple yet powerful like Luz leading the toast to their guests rather than Britt, or Britt’s elocution on beauty as a concept of aesthetic philosophy rather than physical appearance. Heather and I cannot get enough of couples like Luz and Britt who decide to use the celebration of their marriage as a platform to speak about their values and not only what makes them who they are, but also what we can learn from them.
When Heather and I got married on her Aunt Pam and Uncle Rick’s hobby farm in Ramsey, NJ, in October 2018 we did something similar to Luz and Britt. We treated our wedding as an opportunity to express ourselves to our family and friends rather than make it an elaborate affair. We made mounds of fresh pasta to feed our guests, invited them into one of our family’s most welcome places, and danced and sang in a barn/garage with farm animals and family heirloom antique tools adorning the walls. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I’m sure It’s strange for some to think that the progress of our society is connected to the way we celebrate weddings but it is absolutely true. Just like in many other spheres of our lives, it is up to us as individuals and partners in all types of relationships to promote the evolution of values rather than the persistence of archaic traditions. It is not always easy to distinguish what helps one person while it hurts another, but with couples like Luz and Britt pouring over the pages of history for both their and our sakes—I’m increasingly confident in realizing a more equitable future.