Driving through downtown Woodstock, Vermont, past the colonial-style homes and quaint local storefronts, I glanced in the rearview mirror to check on our now six-month-old baby, Capa. Eyes closed, head leaning to one side, Capa smushed his cute chubby cheeks against the strap of the car seat--which always makes me wonder--why is it cute when a baby smushes their face when they’re asleep, but not when an adult does it? It made me realize that having a child begs so many questions; from introspective ones like: “how did my parents treat me as a baby?” To borderline rhetorical dilemmas like, “if your baby is asleep but you know they have a dirty diaper, do you change it?” 

In his first six months, Capa has been to more states (nine) than months he’s been alive. I’m writing this from the porch of our AirBnB in Norway, Maine, where we will be shooting a wedding, and spending an extra day in Portland for my first father’s day. Heather and I always said that our children were never going to slow us or our business down, and it’s so satisfying to see it happen in real time. In fact, we’re finding that Capa already loves to travel, preferring new scenery to mom and dad’s budget circus act in the living room. 

Having Capa along for our road trips has surprisingly enriched our experiences more than he has encumbered them. Of course there are impromptu diaper changes and hunger pangs, but by and large Capa is a great traveler and an absolute trooper. I’d 100% bet good beer money that Capa keeps up with our erratic schedule better than the average nine-to-fiver! I do wonder if we are creating a monster by introducing him to the rigors of being a traveling wedding photographer, but there’s no looking back now.

The truth is you are never really ready to have a child. You can set up all sorts of goal posts: have ‘x’ amount of money saved, own a house, have a beautiful nursery, etc. But it will always be trial by fire. It will always come down to the partnership you have and the relationship you have established. Fortunately for us, we literally have made a business of being over-extended and overtired, seasoned in the gauntlet of red-eye flights and overnight drives, gas station meals and hotel stays. Hell, you can even trace our ability to work through exhaustion back to our bartender days of pulling the Sunday brunch shift following a Saturday close (The infamous “clopen” as industry professionals are apt to call it). And just like two hungover bartenders slinging bloody marys and mimosas to a bar full of groaning guests, Heather and I can’t help but stop and mouth something to each other and smile.

I’m not saying that every jaded bartender out there is ready for parenthood, but the analogy does have its parallels. In fact the whole operation of getting a team of line cooks, expediters, bussers, runners, managers, and servers together to spin around with trays of hot coffee and chilled booze, as plates of sunny side-up eggs, crispy bacon, and buttered toast hit checkered tablecloths and wooden bar tops is pretty on point. At this moment in time Capa has us running around in the weeds but I know at the end of the shift I’m going to have a pocket full of memories. The dirty joke, shared smile, lukewarm coffee, and one bite of blueberry muffin will just have to be enough to get us through.